There has been something that has been bothering me about the perceptions of some rather critical groups recently. People who are against BDSM, Chauvinists, and Feminists; many with very skewed notions feeding their self righteous views. However, it strikes me that most arguments seem to boil down to a disagreement over semantics, rather than a true disagreement over facts.
People who are against BDSM for instance usually site examples of a tendency toward abuse and weak personalities as the reason for a person exhibiting submissive mentalities. Yet I personally have seen some of the most self assure and down right stubborn people happily kneel down at the feet of their Dominant. It seems to me that the choice to serve, to be subjected to these torments is the key to consensual BDSM, not a lack of the ability to chose for one's self.
They have said that Sadists are mentally disturbed, even nihilistic; people who, for some reason or another, have lost the ability to experience emotional relationships in a normal way. Some have even accused us of being play ground bullies all grown up. Yet I have seen Masters show more love, devotion, dedication, and concern for their subs and slaves than most "normal" couples I've come across. It may be that by accepting the complete responsibility of a slave, holding the whole of their being in one's hand, provides for a more powerful connection than that of traditional relationships.
Chauvinists and Feminists amuse me. I one day expect to find a comic book chronicling the exploits of the epic conflicts between the arrogant Chauvinist Alliance and the frigid Feminist Consortium. "Watch as these two arch enemies lock proverbial horns in dead locked conflict while perpetually missing the point!"
Now, I'm a man that loves his porn! I love the sights, the sounds, the very idea of open sexual exchange. I liken it to a kid at the circus... or a kid online watching a virtual circus... Either way. One site I have enjoyed very much is a site called Pet Girls. The obvious and pleasant focus of this site being the petification of very sexy girls for our enjoyment. Enough said. However, the purveyor this site, a man called Benson as far as I can tell, takes it a step further. His site seems focused upon the idea that all women are big breasted "bimbos" and the petification aspect is just the logical and rational realization of their pet like status within modern society.
Okay so maybe that's over analyzing things just a little, but if you ever get the chance check out some of the things he says and the way he presents his media it is rather blatant in my mind. There are repeated themes within his videos where he mocks their personal dignity by making them bark, beg, catch treats in their mouth, he likens their pay to dog biscuits, so on and so forth. I must point out that this is not an attack on him or his views, however I think it would be fair to say that this is a rather chauvinistic attitude toward women.
Now I admit, I love to see a slave begging on her knees, I love to hear my slave bark and whine like a dog, I love to balance cookies on her nose as she rears up and pants. Who wouldn't? The difference is in where the degradation is coming from. I know, semantics right?
With D/s, M/s, and really most kinky couples this kind of play is more about showing how much humiliation, how much degradation the sub is willing to experience for the Dom. Its about the dynamic between the two or more partners, not at the expense of the individual, but for all involved. Extending that to say that because I have this hot, big breasted woman on her knees dripping long strings of saliva down upon my shoes as she pants for a treat, all women are exactly like this is, well... wrong. All you've really proven is that you are one lucky guy with one very desirable woman drooling on you.
Conversely, Feminists and their equally skewed views make me laugh. The point of feminism as a movement, from my recollection, was to give women the chance to get into the work force on an equal footing. Mission success, barring some on going wage disputes. For crying out loud we had our first female nominee for the Democratic Presidential hopeful, the first female to run as a Vice-President (given McCain's failing health, President), and the first female Secretary of State! Ever! These modern feminists however seem incensed at any woman who chooses not to leave the house in search of a career, also they lash out viciously at anything that even hints at a woman's role as being lesser than that to a man's. God forbid!
---Please allow me a moment to harp on those who fight for causes and please forgive me in advance for the abrasive and offensive things I will no doubt spout. The problem with people who fight for a given cause is that when they finally achieve their lofty goals, they can't quite seem to put down the flag. Its like the world's most addictive game of "King of the Hill". Who ever is on top at he moment is the enemy and if you reach the top, everyone below you is now the enemy. The issue with equality is that no one is looking for equality. In this country we have had many issues with equality in relation to race, gender, age, sexual preference, freakin' everything! A good quote to accompany this is from The Dark Knight: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Those noble people who have lead us to what they envisioned as their brighter future (I allude here to the late great Martin Luther King Jr. and also to President Abraham Lincoln) and were unable to see its dawn, leave their causes in the hands of those who rallied to their visions. These followers of a notion, these sheep, hold so tightly to their adopted views that they fail to notice their achievements. The struggle has taken the place of the hope born from their founder's ideals. These sheep fail to realize they achieved it nor allow themselves to enjoy their hard earned victory. All the while those around them use their efforts like a shield, hiding behind noble sentiments as they violate the very principles they cling to.---
Any way, I had occasion recently to read up on a feminist blogger who attacked one of my favorite BDSM porn companies, Kink.com. She ranted and raved about how horrible it was to depict the torture of women in such a light given the very real torture and torment that people are suffering from around the globe. Blah, blah, blah. This argument smacks of the same crap that people use to attack violence in the media.
It was the usual and really rather cliche standpoint that porn in general degrades women as a whole and further that the depiction of such tasteless violence and torture of women was a sickness. As if a willing porn star taking a dildo in the ass had anything to do with say some housewife in Texas or some women CEO in Washington! She states: "If exploring your “dark side” entails wanking to women being tortured, it might be best to leave it unexplored. Or kill yourself." Lovely sentiment. It follows the same hard lined template as every orthodox religion, every stead fast watch dog group, every intractable moral argument. Do this or die! Do this or else! Do as I say! Wow, what a very Dominant position...
It is not for the sake of opinions that I rail against these notions, nor for the sake of any bruised feelings of mine from comments like that. (Let it be known that I personally find Kink.com to be the Cadillac of BDSM porn online.) No, it is simply that I hate seeing everyone being lumped into inappropriate categories to better fit some people's self proscribed notions. It is easy for someone who has never been ill to question the need for doctors, it is easy for someone without money to question the existence of banks, and it seems that it is truly easy for someone who has never felt the desire to be spanked or tied or fucked roughly to damn those who do as being sick.
(Amusingly, I recently read in an article [it was Maxim I think] that women these days are beginning to complain about how men are not being men in bed any more. It seems that women are tired of the sensitive, wimpy guy and want their men to exhibit the very forceful, grunting behavior that they have spent the last several decades bitching about, but only in bed where it suits them the most. Go figure!)
In conclusion, let people be who they are. A submissive woman is not proof that all women are submissive. A chauvinistic man is not proof that all men are chauvinists. A feminist who rails against people who enjoy things she doesn't abide may be, however, proof that most people's opinions are rarely enlightened.
Let those who are submissive be submissive, those who are dominant be dominant, and those who want nothing to do with it stay as fucking far away from me as possible!...