I've been in the lifestyle for as long as I can remember; long before I was even aware that there was a term for it, much less an entire subculture. Having been married now for nearly eight years and having owned my submissive slave wife "j" for nearly a decade, with whom I truly started this journey through the world of BDSM and its varied practitioners, I feel quite like a veteran of the scene. We have frequented clubs and organizations, monthly play parties and have thrown a few of our own private meetings. We have played with many partners, each bringing a new slant or flavor to the overall picture of the Master/slave Dom/sub BDSM world, some novices needing to be broken in and some damned near professionals within the scene...
As all knowledge comes from personal experience, and nearly every experience in BDSM is truly exquisite, then my goal is to gain as much truly exquisite experience as possible. From a sampling of nearly every sweet and succulent type of female submissive to a broad pallet of bondage and torture techniques. I've been within the scene long enough to know, at least to a degree of what I have experienced previously, what I like and want to see more of. I am almost always open to new and different things and there are many things I have yet to try on the right willing submissive such as outdoor pony play...
I have experienced and tried a great many things through my years of play. Bondage of all types, mental domination, breath play, torture, sensitivity play, pet play, public play, cages, some water play, forced orgasms, etc. I have also gathered a nice collection of toys and implements over the years including paddles, cuffs, collars, chains, gags, hoods, crops, a dog cage, and the like. Some of the best play sessions though have proven to come from very little or simple toys and a lot of imagination. I have a taste for both intricate, involved scenes and simple scenes requiring nothing more than a slave and a chair...
My turn-ons are simple; a willing, submissive woman and anything involving that. Truly, the appreciation of lust and all it entails provides for interesting times. Everything involving the female form is just so enticing and it only gets better when that woman is collared and bound. Oh yes. Hearing a submissive woman utter the words, "yes, Master" cuts right through me...
Since we're just getting started with this thing (and it has been a long time coming) it is typically appropriate to introduce who, what, when (and sometimes why) at the very least. (Oh, i am a “punny” kind of girl.)
Though i didn't really know that there was such a thing as S/M or BDSM or M/s relationships, i've always gravitated towards the submissive, masochistic end of things. It's a wonder i didn't end up accidentally doing myself in as a child with clumsy self bondage... (chuckle)
Thankfully, i have known B for well over half of my life, and as a perpetual best friend who was always open to communication, renewing the friendship and longing for a future together, He has been a guiding light in my life. Interestingly enough, it was a silly game of truth or dare that clued us in to our mutual interests in what He knew of as BDSM and i thought of as “that thing which only exists in the dark”. Following that little game, as our relationship grew, blossomed and expanded, we delved into the fascinating world that kink opens to those who are willing to give in to their desires.
Master and i are creeping up on ten years as Dominant and submissive - and eight years married - and in that time, we have made amazing self-discoveries, formed friendships and fallen deeper in love.
We participated in PEP (People Exchanging Power) made friends, visited other kink-friendly clubs (some of which have gone the way of the dodo, sadly), played at play parties, hosted a few friendly get-togethers, played with friends (who are still much loved, but distance now prohibits continued interactions) and grown leaps and bounds as Dominant and submissive, Master and slave, Sadist and masochist.
Without B, i would be lost. He is, as i said, a guiding light – i am thankful that throughout our relationship, He has worked so diligently with me. While i fit best into the submissive's role, sometimes i have difficulty in behaving as a submissive should. i am wild, willful and opinionated. Too often, i want things done my way, instead of His way, and have been known to throw a tantrum or two.
Of late, however, i am finding it easier to sink into that somewhat mythic place called “sub-space” and exist in the desires He has, despite my own thoughts.
Now, we are crossing into new territory, and are less timid about putting ourselves out there.
We are no longer newbies, and while there are still some concepts that terrify me, i am no longer afraid to put myself under His hands and in His thoughtful care. i am becoming more comfortable with who i am and less concerned with what people think of me.
i do think it is time for the world to look at BDSM and begin to understand that those who practice the lifestyle with as much care and concern as most of us do are not dangerous, evil or disgusting. i think the more of us “kinksters” who give voice to the community, perhaps those who we define as “vanilla” can see that what we do, is actually a healthy, open relationship.
So here we are...Letting others see our Roles Defining Rules.
And that's the who, what, when and why of it.