Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sterotypical Wrongness

On FetLife and in the Blogshpere lately, there has been some talk about someone who asked his submissive to take the blame for his arrest related to drug dealing. In thinking about this, because i was asked and also because i wonder about the personal motivations in the relationship, it's led me to consider my relationship with my Master and how far i would go for Him.

Would i take the blame for Him if He had done something illegal?

First, i want to preface my answer with, i am pretty sure He'd never ask such a thing of me, for two reasons, one being His strong belief in personal responsibility and second, He expects the morals that i have to shine through. So, now the answer: it depends upon what He did. If it was something that i would have done, yes, i'd take the blame for it, in a heartbeat. If it was something that i have moral issue with, than i would find a way to decline His order.

On the other hand, if His life was threatened, i'd give my own to save His.

Master is a very interesting man. He is a person of high morals and personal responsibility. He fights against the "Good Ol' Boy" system, He never expects better treatment because He is male, nor does He claim that He is always right and He accepts responsibility for every mistake that He owns. Very unlike the impression i get of the fellow who asked his girl to take the rap in his sted.

One cannot expect all people in male dominated BDSM relationships to be complete pig-headed-fuck-tards. Granted, there are many "Dominants" out there who expect to get their way because they are male, they are always right (even when they are wrong) and they never treat anyone with respect. But those are not the best representatives of the Dominant. And, if one lumps all male dominants into a stereotype and expects the worst from the best...then those of us who want to live in a male-led relationship with BDSM have to fight a matriarchal system that does not believe we know what is best for us. If life is all about personal choice, why are so many people driven to eliminate every personal choice there is?

i am all for equality. Really. But for equality to happen, feminists have to stop and accept that there are places where male power is desired, just as chauvinists have to accept there are places where female power is desired... Elsewhere men and women have to stop trying to cancel out each others' power.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


A few nights ago we were fortunate enough to find some time for a bit of a scene. It wasn't intended to be terribly complex, though Master did want to test out something He'd thought of using for the upcoming POW scene he's talked about.

We don't get the chance to indulge in play often enough these days, and so when the time comes along, we're both quite pleased to make use of it. And we did.

Though the "test run" for the boarding didn't go as planned, Master made use of plenty of leather belts, to keep me from doing more than wriggling. Ankles were tightly belted together, as were my thighs, my wrists to my sides as were my elbows. While Master was sorry that the board wasn't viable, He was pleased with how well the belts held me in place. Being bound was relieving but i will cop to complaining about feeling my legs sticking together.

There is something lovely about being restrained and blindfolded that is ultimately comforting for me. It becomes very easy to drift away, yet become so sensitive to every tickle, every movement of air, every shift Master makes around me. All of that brings me so close to over-stimulation just from the mundane sensations provided while in bondage... But that wasn't the end of it...

i was terrified of electricity when the idea was first introduced to me. Now, the minute those slick, cold pads touch my skin i tremble with delight. It is something, extraordinary, feeling muscles react without the minds approval. However, i also find it frustrating, because very rarely will Master tell me what level each setting is at. Sometimes He will tell me what they are, what level, but others, like the most recent dabbling with electricity, i have no clue if it is random, or if He is cycling through, randomly turning the voltage up or down.

In addition to being zapped, Master provided His cunt a bit of extra...pleasurable torture. i have a love/hate relationship with vibrators and bullets. Sometimes they are fantastic, but after one or two orgasms, all i want to do is rip it away from Master's twitching cunt.

So, there i am, confined in leather belts being randomly zapped and tortured to orgasm, and i have to remember to properly beg for permission to cum. Let me tell you, i am not good at keeping a cohesive string of words together when i'm being zapped and trying to hold an orgasm off. i believe i sounded like a CD with a rather severe scratch - or maybe just poor programming.

"Master, Your...oh, oh, ow!!!. Your.. oohHh. Your.... ....Please...Foooo...Beg..."

That agonizing situation will generally last for a few moments, though they feel like an eternity... Until i finally manage to get out the proper string of words.



And for some reason or another, sex after electricity play is always (dare i leave you with a pun, readers?) electrifying.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Developing Plans...

Recently I have been toying with the notion of a POW scene. I own a pair of old style military BDU's for my slave that we use for paintball matches and she has been wearing them recently which spurred the notion.

In essence, it is the standard military captive scene. Lots of disorientation, abuse, shouting, torture techniques, and rape. I am really enamored with the idea, but my only concern is the length of the scene given the small amounts of time that we manage to get to play any more. I have toyed with the notion of doing it all in segments, treating it more like a movie shoot. Though this would be fun and a great home movie, I like the idea of it being one long scene.

I am not a fan of the rather cliched terrorist or middle eastern idea, and considering that I speak a little Russian, I was planning to run with a former Eastern breakaway Republic having taken an American service woman prisoner. As for techniques I am planning to use sensory deprivation (primarily visual but auditory as well), caning, electrical stimulation, water boarding and dunking, choking, orgasm denial, knives, and maybe some hot/cold stimulation.

I plan to treat her as every bit of the helpless enemy combatant that she will be, giving no quarter or showing no mercy. Of course this all depends upon the neighbors in our apartment complex no calling the police and our child not waking up at any point. That whole video segments thing is looking better.

As a side note, I am currently trying to construct a set of stocks from an old bed frame that my slave had dragged home one day from out by the dumpsters. Apparently one of our neighbors had decided to get rid of it, and as the unofficial practice of our ( and most our past) apartment complex, placed it next to the dumpster for anyone who would possibly have need of it. I was delighted that my slave had brought home a pervertable such as this and immediately informed her of my plans to make a matching pair of stocks from it. A notion that apparently she had not considered, as she cursed and ran away.

I have the measurements all marked out, all the metal components laid out and ready, and sand paper standing by. The only thing that I am missing is a capable saw. Just recently I purchased a nice Black and Decker jig saw, however living in an apartment, there is just no place to use it. I tried (and please don't laugh too much) cutting the hand and neck holes into the board in the bathroom, using the bath tub as a collector for the saw dust. However, given the noise, vibration, and enclosed space, this was not a viable option. What I really need is a coping saw, which I hope to attain in the morning.

I have been sitting on this project now for about a month and have made no real progress, the estimated time for the completion of this project is about thirty minutes to an hour. Feels like a lot of things have been going that way recently. Ever have one of those days?

At any rate, for those of you who love our photos, be on the look out in the next week or so for some awesome updates. Also, check back for a detailed description of the completed set of stocks and the military POW scene...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

To Our Followers...

To all of our followers out there, I just wanted to post a quick note and thank you all for your continued interest in us. As we near 3000 visits on our blog, I want to say that it is truly an experience to have so many people peek in on our rather private world. Again, thank you all for making this blog such a success and allowing us to share our true selves with all of you...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Recently, i've been having a very lovely conversation with someone who isn't part of the BDSM lifestyle. They have been very open-minded, listened to what i had to share, and illuminating for me, as well. There are so many things that slip from memory as we progress through the years, and after ten of them, sometimes it is easy to miss those core values that we've built everything on.

One thing we talked about is whether or not Master has respect for me, for what i am to Him. He does, He often appreciates my intelligence, the conversations we share and the general, down to earth "vanilla" interactions we share. It's simply my place ─ regardless of His lovey-dovey feelings towards me ─ to remember to treat Him with respect, to do my best to please Him and be obedient... Our conversation was much longer, and though i didn't share everything i felt, this open conversation spurred me to realize exactly how important what it is we do is to me. Yes, i do it because it makes Him happy, but that's not the first reason. The real reason is because i find fulfillment in it. i am happiest when i can set aside all the pretense that i was encouraged to don as i grew up, and lay aside everything but the core of myself. When i bear myself down to smoky quartz ─ my desire to serve, to be owned ─ that surrounds my self-identity i am at peace.

Also recently, there has been a flurry among the feminist bloggers regarding BDSM, and that has not been as enlightening or heart-lifting. Just when i think the world at large is really ready to let people do their own thing without damming them, somebody has to go and talk in circles about how "evil" BDSM is and completely ignore any relevant points that might encourage them to see it from a new perspective.

The cries of "BDSM promotes violence against women" and "BDSM is a violent sex act that is wrong" (i'm paraphrasing here) make me frustrated. Firstly, i'm fine with feminists (i'm not one, but that's my choice, and i think that's what feminism is supposed to be about, isn't it? Choice?) i've met some very enlightened, friendly, open-minded women who are in charge of their own lives. And while they may not "get" BDSM , they're not damming those who chose the lifestyle. Secondly, i've always seen sex as an inherently violent act. It's a power exchange, even one done in love. Sex brings us to our base instincts, and regardless of how enlightened we think we are, once we're in the sack...i think it's a good thing for us to succumb to the pleasure of sex. (i mean, really, could you get off if somebody was sitting there talking about work, chores or who they ran into at the store? i'd much rather hear heavy breathing, groans of ecstasy and springs squeaking.)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Some Protocols of a slave...

I've been thinking recently about the protocols that I have for my slave and the fact that I don't believe I've mentioned more than a handful here. Given that this Blog is about Roles Defining Rules, it would only be fair to mention a few.

she has been by collared property for a decade now and in that time many of the rules I've established have changed. Our dynamic is ever changing (hence the blog's name) and it is that flexibility, I believe, that allows us to overcome the challenges and obstacles that come our way. However there are three rules, a creed, that endure. My slave has mentioned them previously: Obey, Serve, and Please. Sort of our Trinity Principle.

Being an owned slave, she has no rights. she is property and I regularly remind her of this. I enforce my ownership over specific parts of her to keep her mindful of her place. For instance; her breath belongs to me and I'll deny her air at a whim and her lovely and creative brain belongs to me, the thoughts and opinions she has are mine to twist and shape as I wish.

One of my rules is that she must beg my permission before engaging in any activity. For example, my permission must be given before she will be allowed to eat, sleep, use the restroom, crawl into my bed, leave my presence (and she must back out of the room once she is allowed to leave and crawl on hands and knees upon returning), use any piece of furniture (save for the chair at her computer - long story), and so on.

I control her speech through a number of protocols that I enforce strongly: she must be respectful, she must use pleasing tones, she is never allowed to argue, she is never allowed to say "no" lest it be to answer a direct question, and there are a number of words that she is not allowed to use period. For example the word "yeah" has been stricken from her vocabulary and carries the penalty of five push-ups for every slip. I swear, my slave will have shoulders and arms like Arnie if she does not stop using it soon. I can deny her speech entirely and leave her yipping, whimpering and panting to express herself, and I might add that it is a great deal of fun for me.

I control her body through a number of exercises and protocols to keep her fit, flexible, and ready. Yoga, belly dancing, martial arts, all of which help to focus her mind and center her body. (Admittedly, due to the winter and our child, this has fallen to the wayside more than I would like to see, but with spring coming I'll be enforcing this more strictly.) I also control her body through a number of positions that she is expected to know and execute correctly. For example, "dog" places her upon all fours, back arched, head and ass up. "Stand" places her on her feet, shoulder width apart, hands clasped at the small of her back, eyes straight forward. These are just a few examples of her current repertoire and I intend to expand this to include a greater number of positions in the near future.

I control features of her body by deciding what she will wear, her hair style and color, shaving, hygiene, etc. I don't use this to the extent I would like due to the area in which we reside, that is to say a rather repressed community. I am looking for a collar that I like that would be acceptable in public and I have seen several that might do the trick. We have also been designing a symbol that I will have tattooed upon her, marking her as my property. Given that we are in our tenth year, I would like to settle upon one that we can have placed upon her for our anniversary. This is more difficult than it may sound as I am a very critical person and the idea of a permanent mark that will forever symbolize my ownership places a great deal of importance on getting just the right symbol. I like the idea of a bar code, specifically the one attached to her SLRN, however this has become somewhat cliche these days.

At home, she is expected to be naked and collared at all times. However, with our child this has been pushed to after hours when she is to strip down and bring me her collar. (Even after all these years it is still such a giddy joy for me to have her naked and at my feet.) When retrieving anything for me she is to crawl to me with the object in her teeth like a dog (provided it is small and light of course, could you imagine anyone dragging say a chair or a full tool box in their teeth? Then again...) and kneel at my feet awaiting my recognition to offer it to my outstretched hand.

As for sex, I suppose it would go without saying that I control her very strictly here. I make her beg to be fucked like a little whore, wagging her ass in the air and whimpering. she is to beg for every orgasm and await permission
before she may slip over that edge into the shuddering throws of ecstasy (what a fun game to give her a time limit of say fifteen minutes before I'll allow her to). I control her orgasms so completely that I will regularly force her to cum on command throughout the day, while driving, focusing on a project, speaking on the phone, etc. So much fun. In addition, I regularly take her at a moment's notice during the day, inspecting her each time to ensure that she is wet and ready like a good slave should be.

I assign her writing assignments, art projects, blog topics; all to keep her mind focused upon her slavery, her place. I control her online activities (though allow her a large amount of autonomy given it is her only real outlet out here) including whom she may befriend on Fetlife, groups she may join, etc.

Well, there you are, a somewhat general listing of the rules, protocols, expectations, and controls that I have for my sweet little slave. As we continue to grow together, face new and interesting challenges, and further explore her enslavement these rules will no doubt change and grow with us. Thats the benefit of Roles Defining Rules...