Awesomeness and suckage

Whew! What a wild, wild ride. We're slowly unpacking only what we need to unpack. We're debating on where we ultimately want to be, although the spot we landed in (at literally the last possible moment) is pretty flippin' awesome - other than the fact that we have no AC or ceiling fans. 

Throughout the move, i did my best to keep up with Master, plugging away, trying to haul in box for box, at least, if i couldn't manage the few pieces of furniture we did bring with us. We're not on the third floor or anything, but a half-flight to our front door, which is alright. But there is a full flight inside - we scored a pretty awesome little town home style apartment. So my knee, long damaged from my gracelessness and pavement, is adjusting. i digress, though. In the midst of the move, i did not drink enough fluids. i let myself get way too hot, way too stressed out, and wound up with a case of heat exhaustion. Master took pity on me and told me to take it easy. So on the days i felt pretty good, i'd do a little organizing, try and improve some of the flaws (like lack of curtains).

And Master and i had lots of awesome sex the first week we were here. i think we nailed 8 days in a row, technically speaking, though a lot of our toys weren't accessible, so it was very verbal, but very awesome and so, so sexy.

But then, i felt miserable; my core hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my head was throbbing, and despite the fact that it was around 90 degrees or better, and i was wearing as little clothing as possible - i got goosebumps and was reaching for a fleece blanket. Master didn't like it.

Gossip, Accusation, Drama

Over on FetLife, there's a thread in some group, (i'm not linking it here, but you can find the link in a tweet from @saynine) which is for victims to post the names of those whom they have played with or had a relationship with, who violated their trust, and abused them. They don't have to post the names themselves. They can send the name and the info to the group leader, who will post them "anonymously."

So there are anonymous comments about so-and-so's behavior, how they abused their victims, or about venues which did not keep players "safe."

And there are people who think it's valuable. To call out those who violated/abused them.

Sure, it'd be ideal for us to know the people we're playing with did their best to respect limits of their play partners. It'd be nice to know for sure if so-and-so really didn't play safe (by whatever definition of that you use when you play or scene).

But these are anonymous comments, and most of the time, as far as i can tell, the named "abusers" are not notified that their names have appeared in the thread.

This is not okay.

This is guilty until, well, someone deletes it and it's forgotten (so, usually, never). This is not even guilty until proven innocent.

This is gossip.

i agree that we should find a way to let other people know about "BDSM-er's" who don't play with some amount of respect for the person they are playing with.

i really don't think that the thread, with anonymous postings, on FetLife is the way. It's a way, but not a good way.

If i'd ever accused my rapist, i wouldn't have done it anonymously. Just saying.

Make Merry...

...for it is the holiday season!

my semester has ended, and while life won't be topsy-turvy busy because of school, we're still swamped with things to do. Thankfully, Master and i have had a few significant chances to get in some much needed time to connect as Sadist and masochist, Owner and property. There are pictures over on His FetLife page, if you want to see. ☺

i'm feeling somewhat better, less depressed, less taken by my grief, more myself. Which is nice. On Christmas day, i'm sure i'll cry, missing those who aren't with us this year, but i am looking forward to sharing the holiday with Master, as i have for the last 11 years.

But beyond Solstice, Christmas and the birthdays that fall in between and after, i'm really hoping that Master and i might come up with one or two days that will belong solely to us -- er, Him -- in which Master can do all of the things He wants, whims uninterrupted by everything else. We hope.

Meanwhile, from us to you, Happy holidays. Blessed Yule. Happy Solstice. Merry Christmas. Or...whichever holiday is most appropriate to you. May your New Year start with a blessedness, may 2012 bring you happiness, peace, joy, and lots of kinky good times.

Just a Note to Our Dear Readers...

To our dear readers, we love comments and only rarely seem to get a few of them. Give us your feed back, your questions, I can't promise that we'll always get back in a timely manner but that's life with us. However give us what you got and we'll do our best to address them. If there has been a question that we haven't answered, feel free to ask it again, maybe we missed it somewhere.

Again, we're just about to delve into audio and video blogs here on RDR and would like to hear from you guys what you think about that too. So come on, don't be shy...