Awesomeness and suckage

Whew! What a wild, wild ride. We're slowly unpacking only what we need to unpack. We're debating on where we ultimately want to be, although the spot we landed in (at literally the last possible moment) is pretty flippin' awesome - other than the fact that we have no AC or ceiling fans. 

Throughout the move, i did my best to keep up with Master, plugging away, trying to haul in box for box, at least, if i couldn't manage the few pieces of furniture we did bring with us. We're not on the third floor or anything, but a half-flight to our front door, which is alright. But there is a full flight inside - we scored a pretty awesome little town home style apartment. So my knee, long damaged from my gracelessness and pavement, is adjusting. i digress, though. In the midst of the move, i did not drink enough fluids. i let myself get way too hot, way too stressed out, and wound up with a case of heat exhaustion. Master took pity on me and told me to take it easy. So on the days i felt pretty good, i'd do a little organizing, try and improve some of the flaws (like lack of curtains).

And Master and i had lots of awesome sex the first week we were here. i think we nailed 8 days in a row, technically speaking, though a lot of our toys weren't accessible, so it was very verbal, but very awesome and so, so sexy.

But then, i felt miserable; my core hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my head was throbbing, and despite the fact that it was around 90 degrees or better, and i was wearing as little clothing as possible - i got goosebumps and was reaching for a fleece blanket. Master didn't like it.

My friends, allow me to sum up the last few months in a single phrase: Holy Crap Nuggets! There, that about sums it up. So much has happened it is hard to recount it all, so perhaps a vague synopsis will do.


First, the girl graduated college, and thanks to a wild all nighter with a finicky four year old the eve of graduation day, I have hazy memories of the whole thing. Fortunately I also brought my camera to the event so I have pictures to punctuate the haze of my memories, and a video of her graduate class speech.




I am very proud of her, and was very pleased when she returned home after the festivities to fall to her knees and offer me her diploma. The girl earned Magda-Cum-Laud, honor society member, and the respect of her peers and teachers. Most importantly, she pleased her Owner. I had hoped that after years of living through a difficult, conflicting schedule and the constant stress of homework we would now have a chance to more fully enjoy our lifestyle. In some ways we have, though not nearly as much as we both have hoped. 

Another step forward.

Early this month, i completed a journey. Roughly 2 years ago, Master allowed me to return to college, and this time, i actually finished the program i set out to complete. Er. Well, an equivalent program, anyway. (i returned to be a nurse, but frankly, i wouldn't trust me with a needle, and daymares of what i must have looked like in the OR as a patient made me change my mind.) Regardless, i walked across the stage, took that little piece of paper, and as soon as i saw Master, put it in His hands. It was something i worked hard at, for Him, because it was something He allowed me to do for me. His GPA continues to outshine my own, but i came close!!

And while that is done, we are scrambling, desperate to relocate. While i have loved the region in which we live, Master has not been as fond of it, and it is time for a change. We have both been seeking new opportunities in the region we'd rather be, and continue to look for housing. Ultimately, we're very picky. We've been spoiled by the opportunity to rent a full blown house with a full blown yard (cheaply!), and looking at returning to apartment buildings is...well...(sigh). We're determined to make the relocation happen though.

So among the boxes, the house hunting, the barely-still-a-toddler with teenage ideas and behavior, we're still here. Still  squeezing in kinky things. Still stressed out. But moving forward, step by step.

Clash of the Titantically Stressed...

So yes, as we have stated a whole lot recently, it seems our lives are drowning in a sea of stress. A brief synopsis of our situation: an insomniac 4 year old, conflicting schedules (she with the early morning and I with the late nights), work stress, end of the school year and impending graduation, 1.5 months to the big move and still have yet to pin down a place to move to, changing careers and praying it holds, no real chances to play, and the ever present finances. Crazy, I know.


The worst thing we could do would be to turn on each other, and yet it seems inevitable that when people get super stressed they do just that. The girl got herself in some hot water the other day, mouthing off at the most opportune of times: right when I have to go out the door to my accursed job. Needless to say, regardless of the specifics of her tirade, I was in a cranky zone. Which was cemented in place by my very presence at work. For hours I mulled it over in my mind, dissecting every word of what she had said. Like trying to remove a catalyst from a solution during an explosive reaction, I tried and tried to separate the volatile emotions from the underlying cause of her rant. Why would she feel this way, what was making her say all of this? How could she be condemning me over things she had just paid me great compliment on the week before?


When I returned home, I was still livid with her but had a better grasp over the causes and the first rays of understanding started poking through the tempest of my displeasure. The girl apologized profusely and asked if I were willing to discuss the whole affair with her. I refused, knowing that I was still too angry for it to become anything other than a shouting match. I was tempted to chain her to the foot of the bed for the whole night with not but a foot of chain ensuring an uncomfortable and sleepless night, but then she had school the next morning and once again those obligations seemed to supersede my own desires. So I swiftly sent her to bed, tucked her in in my usual fashion albeit a bit cooler in temperament, and left her to cry herself to sleep.