Ropes & Legs

A few weeks ago, we did a rope video demo to replicate a tie one of our friends on FetLife had seen. Doing the demo was so much fun, and the bondage felt really lovely. It was an interesting process, because for the demo, Master-Reaper tied it on me once before we began recording, took it off, recorded the tie, took it off, and then tied it a third time and took a few photos. Each time, i had the same leg in the tie for about 15 to 20 minutes at a time. i was impressed by it.

The next morning, as we were lucky enough to have the house to ourselves, with munchkin on an overnight, and Master-Reaper and i snuggled for a while, lazily working our way up to getting out of bed. i was feeling playful and sly, and so when Master-Reaper wasn't looking, i took two of His purple ropes downstairs to the  living room. After He'd eaten breakfast, He noticed them, and wondered if He'd forgotten to put them away. When He looked at me, He knew they'd arrived downstairs by other means. i don't play poker for a reason.

Eventually, somehow, through flustered, hot-and-bothered communication, i suggested that the tie we'd demo'd the day before was really comfy, really awesome and i'd like to try it again, on both legs at the same time... (If Master-Reaper turns down an opportunity to play with rope, He must be an impostor.) He decided to start the tie on my foot, as opposed to the ankle, and we cinched it a bit tighter than we had for the demo. Having stripped the use of my legs from me through this tie, it really helped me find that submissive, meek head space. We had really fantastic sex on floor pillows, and then snuggled there, my legs still wrapped in rope, watching one of our favorite shows (don't ask me what, because i don't remember!). It was really lovely, to just lay there, small, helpless, bound, in His lap.

Eventually, Master-Reaper said He wanted to fuck me again, which i thought would be lovely, but i asked if we could go to His bed instead (tender knees, you know!) and He told me He wasn't going to carry me up the stairs. Being my stubborn, determined self, i crawled up the stairs. With my shins bound back against my legs, it made it incredibly challenging, as there was no leverage to push my hind end up to the next step. When we reached the landing at the 14th step, i was panting . . . and dismayed by the height of the bed. Master-Reaper laughed at me, but helped me up anyway.

After, i was incredibly sad that the bondage had to come off. But rope bondage lasting over an hour is very nearly a record for me. And it left pretty marks!

Biggest Surprise Present Ever!

Shock. Surprise. Desperation. Fear. Awe.

All feelings i experienced in the last several weeks. In the course of moments. Every day.

While i never shared the birth story of our kiddo with the kink community, it define(s)(ed) - (as i'm not sure which tense is truly correct with the new information) - my experience as a parent. The birth of our munchkin in 2007 was traumatic for me, to say the least. It wasn't the natural, beautiful, woman-hood embracing experience i'd hoped for. Hence, my hope that Master-Reaper would be satisfied with one child. He was; though both of us often looked fondly at munchkin's infancy pictures and thought of how precious those moments were, how beautiful...

(A brief interjection to comment that my first pregnancy was awesome. i knew i was pregnant before the pregnancy test, i felt pregnant, and it was awesome - i even embraced my "morning sickness" which really lasted all day, and my only significant symptom until the weeks leading to munchkin's birth.)

Four years later, and America's insistence that the only forms of birth control which are readily available without jumping through hoops is abstinence or condoms (both of which i seem to frequently have bad reactions to) led to the events that have caused my emotions to run through cartwheels.

In March, due to the county clinic being overrun and understaffed, i was unable to continue low-dose birth control pills. Because they made me feel awful anyway, i figured this would be a good opportunity to see if my body could self regulate again. (let me just say, i will freely admit that i'm an idiot sometimes.)

i didn't have a cycle that month (when i say i didn't have a cycle, i mean - possibly TMI - there were no signs of ovulation, menses etc.); so i took a pregnancy test, with a negative result. "Whew! Of course, it took Master-Reaper and i years to conceive our first child. i'm sure i'm not going to get pregnant at the drop of a hat," i thought.

i didn't have a cycle in April. i figured it was just because my back was in poor alignment. That'd happened before. i felt absolutely normal, other than my spine running along like a zig-zag.

i didn't have a cycle in May. i figured it was just the stress of finishing school and finding a new place to live more than 60 miles away from the current residence. i felt absolutely normal, other than i wanted to pull out my hair.

i didn't have a cycle in June. i was ill, had the worst fever ever, in the midst of a run of 100 degree temperature days. Our munchkin was sick too. Besides being feverish and disgusted with the flavor of water, i felt absolutely normal, and attributed the missing period to illness (that's happened to me before, after all).

i didn't have a cycle in July. i started having night sweats. i was starting to think that my experience with munchkin's delivery and the birth control had spurred a possible early onset of menopause. "That'd be nice," i thought. "i hate periods!" Beyond the night sweats, i felt absolutely normal.

August freaked me out. i felt normal, but by the last of the month, still no signs of anything remotely like a cycle. So when September arrived, i attacked it with another pregnancy test, so i could take it to a clinic and say "What is wrong with me? Do i have cancer?"

And got a Big Fat Positive.

But.

But.

i didn't feel pregnant. i didn't look pregnant.

Somewhere between late 2012 and early 2013, there will be a munchkin number 2. Master-Reaper and i are . . . Shocked. Surprised. Desperate. Fearful. Awed.

And i'm in love with the little secret, who made their presence known only after the pregnancy test, with a swift and significant jab to the ribs. It's a sneaky and resilient babe, much like its father, and has all the indications of being as healthy and perfect as munchkin number 1. While definitely unplanned, and will have an impact on how often i'm able to attend the local scene (boo), Master-Reaper and i are looking forward to welcoming munchkin number 2 into our arms...

Rope Demo #1

Master-Reaper had a friend who asked Him to do a breakdown and explanation of a picture found on FetLife. As Master tends to be mechanically minded, it was easier for Him to record a demo of the process. 

We both had a lot of fun doing this for our friend, and would be happy to do this as requested, for any tie we've done or found elsewhere online. Either drop us a note in a comment, or over on FetLife, and we'll see if we can't demo the tie!

The picture in question was found on Clover's FetLife profile. The model in the photo is Scarlot-Rose, the rope done by WykD_Dave, and the photography by Clover. (Beautiful!)

Sex, Slapping & Sucking.

It's funny how much face slapping has come up lately (on blogs, at conferences, on FetLife, etc), and people either love it or hate it. Personally, i love it. i wasn't sure i would, because it was such a challenge for me. When we started, Master went very lightly, not even really a tap across my cheek. And i flinched -- big time -- it was scary to me! Master worked hard, and slowly, to train me out of flinching from His slaps; i'm sure it was months before He even hit me at a quarter force. From time to time, i still flinch, but most of the time, i'm able to push into the slap, even if it's closer to full force than one of those sweet little taps.

This morning, before the alarm went off at dawn-ish (oh, how i love having everyone on a day time schedule!), Master reached under the comforters and stroked my skin and asked if i was horny. Still sort of sleeping, i pushed back into Him as an answer. Before long, there was snu-snu happening beneath the covers. Warm skin against skin, sometimes momentarily exposed to the chill of the night air still hanging in the room, heavy breathing and hands roaming, tearing at sheets... Just a yummy way to wake up; morning sex before the full light of day overwhelms my senses...yum.

And in the midst of yummy morning sex, Master slapped me. Not full force (awwww), but not those little taps, either... His hand cracking across my cheek repeatedly made me feel loved, connected and owned. They made me feel wanton and beautiful, confident and sure, frisky and active, servile and pleasing...

Master gave me three or four orgasms, and i could tell His back wasn't feeling particularly limber, so as we'd warmed to the point where the blankets were just too much heat, i shoved pillows together and Master's face lit up as He realized that He'd just had morning sex and was about to have a morning blowjob, too.

It was a beautiful, impromptu start to the day. And i hope that Master rides the high of an unexpected, enthusiastic, morning blowjob as much as i am riding the high of His hand whipping across my face.

<3

One Third Married

Master and i have known each other for a long time. We were, as i believe we've mentioned (or argue over - we can't agree on what year we met!), childhood sweethearts. We have known each other more than half of our lives; closer to over two-thirds of our lives, actually. It's insane, and according to more than one person we've talked to, practically unheard of. People gasp when they ask how many years we've celebrated when we mention our anniversary. We laugh. We look at each other like newlyweds. A friend of ours recently commented that they really appreciate the "puppy-love" we have in our relationship, that sense of closeness and cuteness that couples newly in-love celebrate.

Looking back, having passed one-third of our lives together married (and approaching the 13th year of our kinkiness!), i realize exactly how fortunate i have been to find my soul-mate so early in my life and find that despite the different roads we took to come back together, we evolved together, our souls spun in such a way that they are a perfect fit, and as they continue to grow together and evolve together, i am grateful for all of our "sames" and "differents." i am grateful that our branches grow ever more entwined and tangled in each other, supporting the other, and all the needs of the other, while receiving the same support.

We compliment each other in the best ways, and i will forever appreciate His strength, the connection He gives me to a life full of love and blessings. His solidarity, in times where i flounder and grieve, keep me connected and aware of His love. His ability to pull away and seem cold-hearted, too, is something i treasure - those moments in which i can fall happily, helplessly, into the hands of a sadist who appears to be without mercy...(That might be my favorite. ;) At least, sometimes it is.)

All of it, i love. And i look forward, gratefully, to more years to find myself further entangled in His arms, His ropes, His leather, His love.

A funny little note: the friend is kink-curious...

But i'm not sure we've mentioned puppy play around him... 

Yet...

Humiliation via Text

With the recent move, we've found ourselves closer to old friends and new. It's been really spectacular, in that many of them are as geeky as we are (and truth be told, a few are deepening our geeky-ness). Another particularly awesome bonus is that a few of them are kink-curious themselves, and most of them are kink-friendly.

On July 31, one of our friends whom we have known for years, celebrated his birthday. His request was boobie pictures. Being the obliging sort, Master confirmed the birthday fellow's phone number when our geeky, kink-friendly friends popped over, and sent a picture of my boobage via text. It was very much like the pink ribbon. It was embarrassing and a bit humiliating, considering among our friends (who were geeky friends before we realized they were also kinky friends) i tend to be rather prudish. After a few moments, our visiting friends began looking at their phones. One looked at me and smirked. Another looked at Master and asked if He'd meant to do that. And i was largely befuddled until the last text arrived in the room, when the third friend exclaimed "Boobies!"

Of course, i nabbed Master's phone to prevent the picture from spreading further by His fingers, but His phone is not set up the same way mine is, so i wound up opening His music files and playing "Control" by Poe. How stunningly appropriate! At that point Master demanded the return of His phone and my face was probably as pink as the (thankfully) absent pink ribbon of doom.

i hope our birthday friend enjoyed the picture as much as it fueled Master's and my enjoyment at one of our favorite aspects of play: humiliation.

Fantasy Weekend of Fun!

So last weekend was an event we were really looking forward to. Lots of kinky folks. Lots of fun. Two enormous play parties. Excellent presentations and presenters.

But i can't tell you any more than "We had a awesome time." Maybe i could tell you for lunch the first full day, we met up with two wonderful friends, and had dinner with one of our first kinky friends. Maybe i could mention that we learned a lot about ourselves, though i can't tell you how the insight came about. Maybe i could write about the fact that  Master and i played hard . . . if i didn't mention the event (and maybe i'll do that later).

Because the event requires that we don't write about it. In fact, i pulled down our posts about last year's event, because the seriousness with which they take this "don't write about it" is actually frightening. 

i kind of understand why. The privacy concerns associated with the event are of course, at the forefront of the organizers' minds. No one wants to be incidentally outed. But it makes me angry that i can't talk about what Master and i experienced, or how we played. The event was still awesome. And we'll go back every year they have it. Maybe, in time, we won't have to be afraid to share experiences like this. But today, it sucks.

Today, Master and i are lamenting the lack of air conditioning that we enjoyed all weekend. We're lamenting that the fantasy the event inspires has vanished, and real life awaits. We have, as good friends put it, "con-drop" because the convention is over. (sigh)

Hopefully we'll be able to squeeze in some awesome kinky fun at home to share with you. After all, all these bruises on me are good "starting" points for new play. (grin)

Fluid

The stagnation of our previous home has really become obvious in the almost month we've been in our new location. It's amusing, in a horrific sort of way, looking back, on how much we'd become . . . accustomed, i guess . . . to not having our needs met. But here, now, in the brief time we have been here, we've reconnected in a very deep way. i think (or at least if feels as if) we've had more sex in the last 20 some odd days than we had over the entire summer of 2011. Our relationship is more fluid, more full of life and vivacious once again.

Of course, here has its own new challenges, the balance of activity outside and inside our relationship, for example. We are much closer to people who truly share Master's interests, enabling Him to spend more time fulfilling those needs that i can't always live up to. i'm delighted, of course, but this also sometimes leaves me feeling a bit lonely. But, there have been more amazing moments of closeness, of fun, of sex, of silliness. i've been feeling more playful again, more likely to spark a moment of fun between us. The only unfortunate thing is, we no longer have a real place to store our toys, so they are still living in totes, which makes it an adventure in the dark, when i ask Master if He'd be willing to torture, tease or play with a particular toy, or if He's got a sudden craving to use a particular toy on me... Standing over the totes with the midnight light, moving the smaller totes and boxes, looking for the thing that has inevitably slid to the bottom of the 10 gallon tote that is, of course, on the bottom of the stack of toy totes.

Regardless, the massive amount of sex is revving my engine, and i am very much looking forward to our little getaway to a proverbial island of adult fun on July 13, 14 & 15. We are so excited to return to Thunder In the Mountains. (Plus, i read something about a "Puppy Pit" in addition to the Pony Track at the play party!! Hehehe!)

Awesomeness and suckage

Whew! What a wild, wild ride. We're slowly unpacking only what we need to unpack. We're debating on where we ultimately want to be, although the spot we landed in (at literally the last possible moment) is pretty flippin' awesome - other than the fact that we have no AC or ceiling fans. 

Throughout the move, i did my best to keep up with Master, plugging away, trying to haul in box for box, at least, if i couldn't manage the few pieces of furniture we did bring with us. We're not on the third floor or anything, but a half-flight to our front door, which is alright. But there is a full flight inside - we scored a pretty awesome little town home style apartment. So my knee, long damaged from my gracelessness and pavement, is adjusting. i digress, though. In the midst of the move, i did not drink enough fluids. i let myself get way too hot, way too stressed out, and wound up with a case of heat exhaustion. Master took pity on me and told me to take it easy. So on the days i felt pretty good, i'd do a little organizing, try and improve some of the flaws (like lack of curtains).

And Master and i had lots of awesome sex the first week we were here. i think we nailed 8 days in a row, technically speaking, though a lot of our toys weren't accessible, so it was very verbal, but very awesome and so, so sexy.

But then, i felt miserable; my core hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my head was throbbing, and despite the fact that it was around 90 degrees or better, and i was wearing as little clothing as possible - i got goosebumps and was reaching for a fleece blanket. Master didn't like it.

Another step forward.

Early this month, i completed a journey. Roughly 2 years ago, Master allowed me to return to college, and this time, i actually finished the program i set out to complete. Er. Well, an equivalent program, anyway. (i returned to be a nurse, but frankly, i wouldn't trust me with a needle, and daymares of what i must have looked like in the OR as a patient made me change my mind.) Regardless, i walked across the stage, took that little piece of paper, and as soon as i saw Master, put it in His hands. It was something i worked hard at, for Him, because it was something He allowed me to do for me. His GPA continues to outshine my own, but i came close!!

And while that is done, we are scrambling, desperate to relocate. While i have loved the region in which we live, Master has not been as fond of it, and it is time for a change. We have both been seeking new opportunities in the region we'd rather be, and continue to look for housing. Ultimately, we're very picky. We've been spoiled by the opportunity to rent a full blown house with a full blown yard (cheaply!), and looking at returning to apartment buildings is...well...(sigh). We're determined to make the relocation happen though.

So among the boxes, the house hunting, the barely-still-a-toddler with teenage ideas and behavior, we're still here. Still  squeezing in kinky things. Still stressed out. But moving forward, step by step.

(bleep)

 *sigh*
Master and i don't want this to be a negatively filled space. But...things are...challenging at the moment. There's the daily frustration of tedious and annoying issues that face every family. Our kiddo is a ball of bouncing energy, who is far to smart for his own good (or ours). Extended family struggles. The economy continues to take its toll. There is an open door, or window, depending on one's perspective, but right now, it's really hard for Master and me to remain positive. If one of us is managing to claw our way out from under the dark clouds, then the other is sufficiently dampened by said clouds. The most likely event is that we're both standing underneath the storm on opposite sides. Together, but not close enough for us to dispel the low feelings we share.

We desperately need time together, but there's a level of hustle and bustle that keeps that from happening on a significant level...And despite Master and i making a show in the (semi) local scene in February, we didn't make it in March, nor does it look like April will happen for us either.

i'm wound up and stressed. And i keep sticking my (bleep) foot in my mouth.

i've very nearly got my AA in Master's hands, and that alone has created a bit of hurt in my heart. i keep my head down, do what needs doing, and  am not as student as good as Master was. But i somehow keep getting attention. Good attention. But i don't want it. i just want to do what i need to do and go home. But Master says "I'm proud of you. I want you to do this." So i do it, because i was told to. So why did they not give Master the same attention while He was there? Why do they lavish all of this unwanted attention on me? i don't like it. i really don't.

And then i say stupid things to Master.

And so i say (bleep) repeatedly, and am going to go have a cry.

Ugh

The last few weeks have been kinda hard. Master and i played hard together when we re-entered the public scene, and then after that, life happened. Life got in the way. Life did it's thing. And Master and i dropped.

In some ways, we still kind of are. We're stressed about some big changes coming up in our little corner of the world (and excited, hopeful and experiencing trepidation), and we haven't had a chance to connect like we really want to. Because life keeps getting in the way, we're both a bit touchy about everything. It's hard.

And we're desperate for a chance to relax and connect on that primal level we love so much.

---
Don't forget, March is Q&A month - if you leave a comment for us here on any recent posts, send it via formspring (Master's formspring box is on the bottom left of this page) or drop us notes on FetLife, we'll answer them here on the blog.

An undignified title...

In other words: "squee!!" 

After Master and i attended Thunder in the Mountains last July, we realized (again) just how much we missed being part of the community. When we started out, we were regular attendees of the local PEP (People Exchanging Power), and loved it. We met great people, we had a lot of fun, and we really had the space to experiment with our play. We committed ourselves to finding a way to make ourselves part of the closest local scene again, and this month, we managed to fulfill our early 2012 resolution. The timing all worked out, and though we got lost in our once familiar haunt, we found ourselves at the door.

Inside, we saw familiar faces, and though the traffic and getting lost had left a smudge on our initial moods, watching others engaging in their own scenes lifted our spirits and our excitement and we started looking for a place to play. Master and i really were looking for space to play with the Victor Tella signal whips we picked up at Thunder, and of course, some room for some serious martial arts inspired impact play. It was pretty crowded, so we weren't sure we'd find just the right spot.

It worked out that as soon as Master and i were really ready to get the ball rolling, one scene wrapped up (and was unwrapped - a little rope-pun) and Master and i experimented with the available space. Though many people comment on our pictures over on FetLife about how sexy i am, and many people tell me in person, i admit i have body-hang-ups. Master talked me through them, and pretty soon, i was happily cuffed and Master was whipping away. He started out with the flogger, and though i know it, i don't really remember it clearly. i fell into the scene fast. Nothing remains but the memory of movement, a bite of the tails of the pretty floggers, and Master's gloves. But the Dragon Tongue i do remember; it's pretty red tail biting and "cutting" into my flesh, the way it would lovingly wrap around my ribs to bite the flesh of my breasts, licked around my hips, and landed on my calves. i remember stomping my feet, sometimes turning around to look at Master as the tongue licked at whatever new target i gave Him. i was deep into the sensations of it all. Deep into the energy changing hands between Master and i. He took my pain and devoured it. i took His cruelty and lapped it up.

Even though Master and i have found that i do appreciate the sting of the whips far more than i appreciate more of a thud against me; there is one thud that i cannot get enough of... The feeling of Master using His limbs upon me as weapons. i begged Him to skip the whips, to kick me. As He is ever so kind, He agreed, and re-positioned me so there would be ample room for His intentions. i remember counting two sets of ten, but Master wasn't done with just 20. When i couldn't remember how to keep counting, i was on the verge of good tears. As much as i would have enjoyed crying for Him, i enjoyed what came next at least as much. Now that there was no counting, i was just a punching bag. There was no time to cry, and all i could do was laugh and howl with the joy of the pain Master gave me. Master kicked me, front kicks, side kicks, round kicks...and His fists were a flurry as well. Punches, slaps, and i think i felt a few well placed ridge-hands, landed upon my back, ribs and thighs. my legs crumpled under me as Master used His knowledge of pressure points against me. Left with quivering legs, kneeling upon the floor, held upright only by the cuffs, Master landed a few more blows upon me.

He brought me water (we learned from Thunder...we had it in our scene bag, along with some emergency chocolate and one of my favorite blankets), and we cleared the space for the next players. Initially, i thought i'd want to just curl up somewhere and nurse my sore legs, but once i was following Master i realized that moving felt far better, and we wandered around to watch a few other players.  A good friend, one of our fist friends from the scene, was there and had his claws out. On my already sore body, they were almost like little single jolts of electricity.

Before long, Master and i were set up again, with His jute quickly wrapping around me. There's not a lot from this part that i remember well, either, because i was really just a happy puddle of lovely neurotransmitter goop. Master asked me if i wanted to walk around, but that was pretty beyond my coordination levels, so He bound me down and ripped a couple of orgasms out of my body.

When He'd let me loose, i was pretty quick to bounce back to being frisky, and running away after He'd threatened to spray cold water all over me...

Being there was really, truly great. Fulfilling. We met people, old friends and new friends; had great scenes, connected with our inner Sadist and masochist (well - His Sadist, my masochist) in a way we haven't been able to for a while, and had a grand time indulging in our desires...

It was absolutely, spectacularly, awesome.

The sex at the hotel after the event and the next morning was pretty awesome, too.

And. i who almost never bears marks on my legs, ass or back... Have marks lingering from the event, and a lovely, lingering soreness...

We're seriously looking forward to our next chance!

(taps fingers...)

Gossip, Accusation, Drama

Over on FetLife, there's a thread in some group, (i'm not linking it here, but you can find the link in a tweet from @saynine) which is for victims to post the names of those whom they have played with or had a relationship with, who violated their trust, and abused them. They don't have to post the names themselves. They can send the name and the info to the group leader, who will post them "anonymously."

So there are anonymous comments about so-and-so's behavior, how they abused their victims, or about venues which did not keep players "safe."

And there are people who think it's valuable. To call out those who violated/abused them.

Sure, it'd be ideal for us to know the people we're playing with did their best to respect limits of their play partners. It'd be nice to know for sure if so-and-so really didn't play safe (by whatever definition of that you use when you play or scene).

But these are anonymous comments, and most of the time, as far as i can tell, the named "abusers" are not notified that their names have appeared in the thread.

This is not okay.

This is guilty until, well, someone deletes it and it's forgotten (so, usually, never). This is not even guilty until proven innocent.

This is gossip.

i agree that we should find a way to let other people know about "BDSM-er's" who don't play with some amount of respect for the person they are playing with.

i really don't think that the thread, with anonymous postings, on FetLife is the way. It's a way, but not a good way.

If i'd ever accused my rapist, i wouldn't have done it anonymously. Just saying.

The middle...and the end...

With our first 21 hours whittled away, Master fully intended to make the most of me and our remaining kid-free time. Since i'd been chained to the bed all night, i was feeling a bit stiff, and Master kindly allowed me to get up, stretch and make breakfast - you know, morning stuff. The downside of the second day was the absolute flood of endorphines. my memories regarding the next scenes are very fuzzy and vague. 

Once Master had enjoyed His sausage, egg and Munster burrito and i'd happily scarfed my dry blueberry wheat cereal, Master was ready for the fun to begin in earnest. More rope was applied to me, and i remember loops and loops around my neck, and my hands bound again to my feet as i sat cross-legged. Master used the GiGi on me again. It felt like He kept me bound there for hours, before He took me again.

Master allowed me another shower, and then wanted to put me in the cage again. We'd both enjoyed the extra harsh confinement of it the previous evening that we wanted to experiment a little more with it. Once i was warm again, Master took us upstairs, where he poked fun of me for being excited about the coming torture.  

Instead of head down and ass up in the cage this time, Master had me on all fours (well, as close as possible, given the natural smallness of the cage), and created another clever trap for me. He compressed my breasts with dowel rods on either side, kept me pushed "properly" forward by running a bar across the sweet spot of my ass, trapped my head between two dowel rods for a while, ran one across my back, so i couldn't push up, and two trapped my arms. Where the ass up and head down adventure the previous evening created long lasting fatigue in my hips, legs and lower abdomen, this new cage trap He'd devised created upper torso and arm fatigue (though there was some strain on the legs, it would have taken much longer to build up).

While i was trapped, at His mercy (and feeling oh, so helpless and objectified), Master again took the GiGi out and teased me to orgasm. If one has never experienced an orgasm in a strained, unnatural position - it's like a firework exploding in a steel drum. The reverberations of the big O wash back over you, because there's no way to move the muscles as you might have naturally. i remember being very fatigued and begging to be let out, or have bars removed. i remember Master saying (my favorite) "just another minute" a few times. i also remember i was not graceful, and had a flare of anger at the pain, and Master had to remind me to mind my behavior. 

i was relieved when Master began removing the dowel rods that had held me immobile. Then He demanded that i quickly squirm through the small door and into His bed for His use. i confess, i was sore and sluggish, but after an indulgent 10 seconds or so collapsed in a little heap, i moved as quickly as i was capable of to His bed. He fucked me again, and allowed me more orgasms, though i couldn't spring back up after sex. i was worn out, tired, used up, content and a little sleepy. Master indulged me, and let me lay in His bed, bundled up and covered in sticky.

He came up to remind me that He had to go to work that evening, and because i would be alone, i was to stay naked, work on the blog, was allowed to eat one burrito, and be kneeling by the door when He came home. 

When i finished the first post about what had transpired, i texted Master to ask if i could play Skyrim. He graciously allowed me to play video games while i waited for Him to come home. When He did arrive home, he found me naked, Xbox controller in hand, and semi-kneeling by the door as i had just unlocked it for Him. 

Very soon after He had arrived home, we fucked again, and very soon after that, me and my tired, swollen, well-pounded cunt fell asleep. i think Master played Skyrim before He chained me to the bed. 

When i woke the next morning, we had a scant nine hours left before the return to dreaded normalcy. You know, being not-overtly kinky. And wouldn't you know, my back, on this day of all days, decided that i needed not just lumbar vertebra out of place, but that some thoracic vertebra should be seriously dislodged as well. Laying in bed hurt, sitting in bed hurt, but i tried to be still and quiet so Master could sleep. He woke up anyway. He's either way tuned into me or i am not as quiet as i think i am. Probably both.

He took a bit of mercy on me, and sent me away from bed (after unchaining me) so that i could find something comfortable to do with my back and play Skyrim. (Master spoils me sometimes.)

He slept, and i fapped about in the video game. Not exactly what we'd pictured when we imagined more than 48 hours with the kiddo having delightful fun elsewhere.. But when Master woke up, He asked for a blowjob, so a minor delight was achieved. i continued to play the game for a while. Master read my first blog post, and when i asked what He thought, He threw His pants on the couch and proceeded to fuck me. 

It was glorious, and we loved living the dream, for a few days. (And our little person gave us hugs when he saw us, while we smiled at each other over his shoulder.)

The show begins...

Over the semester break, Master and i have had lots of things to do. Lots. We looked at the list and thought "four weeks should be long enough." We definitely got pretty close. Especially since we managed to score two nights of kid-free time. Even more awesome, it's been two nights in a row. 48+ hours of kid free time, during which, i've been kept naked, as pleases Master, and frequently bound, frequently taken and tortured.

Bliss!

We started off the kid-free time easy, seeing a movie Master and i wanted to see, during which Master infrequently threatened me with the thumb cuffs He was keeping in his pocket. When He wasn't threatening me, He had a firm grip on both my hands and frequently squeezed them in excitement and glee. As we left the theatre and began the trek home, Master slipped the handcuffs out of the center console and slapped them on my wrists, nicely pulling my sweater down to cover them, after which He also added the thumb cuffs. We laughed, i whined about the thumb cuffs, and Master laughed at me. He received some texts from a friend, and while He drove, i read them, and replied through dictation. It was pretty awesome. Then i discovered i could pop my right thumb out of the thumb cuffs. After a bit of joking, i slipped my thumb back in them so Master could snap a quick picture, and then the meanie reached over and squished the cuff down. By the time we arrived home, my thumbs were a bit purple. Master and i planned to play all night - after all, He's been staying up to play Skyrim until 5 am or so - there was no reason we couldn't play until at least that time.

Master graciously allowed me a shower while He rearranged some furniture to make the most of the mid-week "vacation" and when i emerged, wet, slippery and smooth, He said socks were the only clothes i could have - so i put on one of the warmest pairs i have - men's work socks (don't make fun - they are warm and they, too, make me feel small). While we watched one of our favorite TV shows, Master wrapped the rope we'd gotten at 2011 Thunder in the Mountains around me, and i actually was really able to sink into the bondage. Since i've been working on my flexibility, Master got my arms bound behind me in the same position as a monoglove. It was hot, hurt just a little, and i was already feeling small and submissive. With a second chunk of rope, Master bound my feet up and tied them to my hands, creating a deliciously tight hogtie. While i was bound, He teased me with our Lelo toy, GiGi, before allowing me to cum.

When He was done teasing me, He untied my feet and threw the Liberator Flip Ramp i'd won from Eden Fantasies next to my head. That was a deliciously scary sound, because i wasn't able to see what He was doing where i was. Master then ever so kindly (not) picked me up by the chest harness that was binding my arms and threw me on top of the flip ramp so He could fuck me. i was feeling deliciously small and objectified.

Master sent me off to the shower again to clean up (i stupidly have an allergic reaction and swelling after sex, with or without lube, these days), and allowed me to warm up, naked, under blankets, bound at His feet.

It wasn't even nine in the evening yet, and the show was just getting started.

Make Merry...

...for it is the holiday season!

my semester has ended, and while life won't be topsy-turvy busy because of school, we're still swamped with things to do. Thankfully, Master and i have had a few significant chances to get in some much needed time to connect as Sadist and masochist, Owner and property. There are pictures over on His FetLife page, if you want to see. ☺

i'm feeling somewhat better, less depressed, less taken by my grief, more myself. Which is nice. On Christmas day, i'm sure i'll cry, missing those who aren't with us this year, but i am looking forward to sharing the holiday with Master, as i have for the last 11 years.

But beyond Solstice, Christmas and the birthdays that fall in between and after, i'm really hoping that Master and i might come up with one or two days that will belong solely to us -- er, Him -- in which Master can do all of the things He wants, whims uninterrupted by everything else. We hope.

Meanwhile, from us to you, Happy holidays. Blessed Yule. Happy Solstice. Merry Christmas. Or...whichever holiday is most appropriate to you. May your New Year start with a blessedness, may 2012 bring you happiness, peace, joy, and lots of kinky good times.

Meh2 & Thankfulness

Still sort of meh. i'm looking forward to Thanksgiving - though it will be a sad one. Even when you know someone is unwell and will be crossing over soon, the moment it hits still sucks. And it sucks because that new loss, however different or far apart it is from the old losses, will still tear those wounds open, just enough to hurt. i try to keep remembering that we were given more years than we expected - that she was ready to go home to her love on the other side. Yes, i'm being purposefully vague and feeling sorry for myself about the loss. (That being said, i still send and share my sympathies with my online friends who have experienced their own losses this year, and to those who are still struggling to see their families healthy again.)

Most importantly this Thanksgiving, for me, though:
1. Master loves me. He puts up with me, He takes care of me, whether i am well, ill or grieving.
2. Master and i have an amazingly intelligent and beautiful son.
3. Master likes my family, and is loved by my family, and He's willing to spend time with them.

<3 You, Master. Forever and always. i know that these last few weeks have been filled with much "meh" but my heart finds the song of joy when You smile at me.

If anyone out there is reading... Have a happy Thanksgiving. Treasure your loved ones, and yourself.

Turn the fan on!

We didn't fall off the face of the Earth.

Summer did get super busy and super hectic, though. We're still trying to squeeze in kinky fun wherever possible. We're still muddling on. i've headed back to school -- boo 12 credits this semester and (sadly) 3 credits next semester. We're trying to beat the heat, but must confess it's largely beating us... Last night at 9 pm it was still 90 degrees (F). Blasted heat. Tonight doesn't look much better.

i haven't forgotten about the 4th "Thunder Recap" that i promised. It's mostly written, but i lost the high from the event, and it makes me kind of sad that we don't get to have super intense fun like that as often as Master or i crave it, so it's been hard for me to finish writing. i will do my best to post it soon, though.

i also have a few other ideas percolating, and hope to get those out there, and hopefully either Master or myself will find the time to write up some of the kinky fun we do manage to squeak into our frantic lives.

And with that, i must go stuff myself in the freezer, because it is far too hot to be doing anything else.

Whee!

It's been a crazy few weeks here...

And Master and i are excited people. This weekend, we'll be kid-free and attending an event we've wanted to attend for years. We're going to Thunder In the Mountains!

Even better, we'll be able to spend some time with our dear playmates Master Pravus and Red Vinyl Kitty! 

Even though i've always wanted to go to Thunder, i wasn't too sure how i was feeling about it this year. i mean - it's not easy to break away from the routine, and i'm, well, crazy-nut-balls-anxious about everything that isn't routine. As we've gotten closer, i've found myself more and more exited about the whole thing. There's a chance that we might run into folks we've met on FetLife (though we won't be able to make the pre-Thunder meeting), there's lots of cool seminars going on, throughout the weekend, and play-parties. Master and i haven't seen a public play party in at least seven years. We remember them fondly, and we're pretty excited to see how those work out. 

As soon as we're back from Thunder, we're planning on blogging the experience. Because Thunder is an extremely privacy-oriented event, there won't be any pictures from the event itself, but if we manage to get some private playtime in, of course we'll have photos of that to share!

i'm off to start the packing! (Yes, i know it's only Wednesday, but that's okay. i want to be ready for Friday morning with plenty of rest under my belt.)