Fantasy Weekend of Fun!

So last weekend was an event we were really looking forward to. Lots of kinky folks. Lots of fun. Two enormous play parties. Excellent presentations and presenters.

But i can't tell you any more than "We had a awesome time." Maybe i could tell you for lunch the first full day, we met up with two wonderful friends, and had dinner with one of our first kinky friends. Maybe i could mention that we learned a lot about ourselves, though i can't tell you how the insight came about. Maybe i could write about the fact that  Master and i played hard . . . if i didn't mention the event (and maybe i'll do that later).

Because the event requires that we don't write about it. In fact, i pulled down our posts about last year's event, because the seriousness with which they take this "don't write about it" is actually frightening. 

i kind of understand why. The privacy concerns associated with the event are of course, at the forefront of the organizers' minds. No one wants to be incidentally outed. But it makes me angry that i can't talk about what Master and i experienced, or how we played. The event was still awesome. And we'll go back every year they have it. Maybe, in time, we won't have to be afraid to share experiences like this. But today, it sucks.

Today, Master and i are lamenting the lack of air conditioning that we enjoyed all weekend. We're lamenting that the fantasy the event inspires has vanished, and real life awaits. We have, as good friends put it, "con-drop" because the convention is over. (sigh)

Hopefully we'll be able to squeeze in some awesome kinky fun at home to share with you. After all, all these bruises on me are good "starting" points for new play. (grin)

(bleep)

 *sigh*
Master and i don't want this to be a negatively filled space. But...things are...challenging at the moment. There's the daily frustration of tedious and annoying issues that face every family. Our kiddo is a ball of bouncing energy, who is far to smart for his own good (or ours). Extended family struggles. The economy continues to take its toll. There is an open door, or window, depending on one's perspective, but right now, it's really hard for Master and me to remain positive. If one of us is managing to claw our way out from under the dark clouds, then the other is sufficiently dampened by said clouds. The most likely event is that we're both standing underneath the storm on opposite sides. Together, but not close enough for us to dispel the low feelings we share.

We desperately need time together, but there's a level of hustle and bustle that keeps that from happening on a significant level...And despite Master and i making a show in the (semi) local scene in February, we didn't make it in March, nor does it look like April will happen for us either.

i'm wound up and stressed. And i keep sticking my (bleep) foot in my mouth.

i've very nearly got my AA in Master's hands, and that alone has created a bit of hurt in my heart. i keep my head down, do what needs doing, and  am not as student as good as Master was. But i somehow keep getting attention. Good attention. But i don't want it. i just want to do what i need to do and go home. But Master says "I'm proud of you. I want you to do this." So i do it, because i was told to. So why did they not give Master the same attention while He was there? Why do they lavish all of this unwanted attention on me? i don't like it. i really don't.

And then i say stupid things to Master.

And so i say (bleep) repeatedly, and am going to go have a cry.

I Cannot Believe...

So, I received my power bill for this past month and... OMG WTF!!! Is the public service company trying to bankrupt the working class? My bills during the summer were on average about $50. Yeah, quintuple that! And its not even fucking cold outside! There are god damned flies still buzzing around out there for craps sake!

After my last bill, which about made me blow my top and was only triple my summer average, I've been old manning it hard core. Leaving only one light on in the whole house at a time, using sleep modes on TVs to limit their time on, turning our ancient floor board heaters down to barely warm settings, etc. Now, for the next month we're looking at living Amish style. I'm sure fucking looking forward to lots of missionary and those awesome hats!

F my Xcelent utilities provider!...