Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sterotypical Wrongness

On FetLife and in the Blogshpere lately, there has been some talk about someone who asked his submissive to take the blame for his arrest related to drug dealing. In thinking about this, because i was asked and also because i wonder about the personal motivations in the relationship, it's led me to consider my relationship with my Master and how far i would go for Him.

Would i take the blame for Him if He had done something illegal?

First, i want to preface my answer with, i am pretty sure He'd never ask such a thing of me, for two reasons, one being His strong belief in personal responsibility and second, He expects the morals that i have to shine through. So, now the answer: it depends upon what He did. If it was something that i would have done, yes, i'd take the blame for it, in a heartbeat. If it was something that i have moral issue with, than i would find a way to decline His order.

On the other hand, if His life was threatened, i'd give my own to save His.

Master is a very interesting man. He is a person of high morals and personal responsibility. He fights against the "Good Ol' Boy" system, He never expects better treatment because He is male, nor does He claim that He is always right and He accepts responsibility for every mistake that He owns. Very unlike the impression i get of the fellow who asked his girl to take the rap in his sted.

One cannot expect all people in male dominated BDSM relationships to be complete pig-headed-fuck-tards. Granted, there are many "Dominants" out there who expect to get their way because they are male, they are always right (even when they are wrong) and they never treat anyone with respect. But those are not the best representatives of the Dominant. And, if one lumps all male dominants into a stereotype and expects the worst from the best...then those of us who want to live in a male-led relationship with BDSM have to fight a matriarchal system that does not believe we know what is best for us. If life is all about personal choice, why are so many people driven to eliminate every personal choice there is?

i am all for equality. Really. But for equality to happen, feminists have to stop and accept that there are places where male power is desired, just as chauvinists have to accept there are places where female power is desired... Elsewhere men and women have to stop trying to cancel out each others' power.

1 comment:

Mr.C. said...

Telling lies, refusing to accept responsibility for ones actions, blaming the innocent, acting contrary to the best interests of the one we are leading, all mean in my opinion, that we are singularly unsuited to the position.