Monday, August 25, 2008

Less time in hand...

...Then time out the window.

August has flown by and it doesn't seem like it. For the life of me i cannot figure out where it all has gone. Master and i have had a rather hectic and traumatic month, as we adjust to the requirements of His job outside the home, and the upcoming schedule change.

It's something that i've allowed to stress me out and make me agitated. In turn, making me over-tired and -- i hate to say it -- demanding.

There is a blog i read, freqently, because i adore the way she describes everything she shares with us, and recently, wrote about the "disaster". If you haven't followed the link on our sidebar to view Persephone's Obedience, her series on the disaster is amazing.

And, i did tangent briefly to her for a reason. Trust. Placing absolute trust in one's Master is an amazing place to be. i know because once, breifly, i did. It was beautiful, freeing and humbling. The reason i'm not there now?

Things changed, and i didn't trust.

That one action of mine, set us both spinning in aggrivation, dumped me into a melancholy state and left Master horribly frustrated. Instead of moving us forward, Master had to work us through all that territory we'd already been through.

Here we are, again in a position where i have to trust. The slave in me has to let go of her fears, and know that trusting Master is the most important thing she can do. Fretting, making myself aggrivated, anxious and exausted is not helpful to the situation.

i have to let go. No more worrying about how quickly time passes, or what the change is going to bring. It's up to me to trust.

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