You blogger, you!

This is just a short little update.

Blogger has gotten a bit grumpy about adult content. If a blog on the blotspot domain has links to adult content, sites, and so forth, they may delete it entirely after June 30th, 2013.

Their email reads:

Important Update to Adult Content Policy on Blogger

You are receiving this message because you are the admin of a blog hosted on Blogger which is identified to have Adult content. Please be advised that on June 30th 2013, we will be updating our Content Policy to strictly prohibit the monetization of Adult content on Blogger. After June 30th 2013, we will be enforcing this policy and will remove blogs which are adult in nature and are displaying advertisements to adult websites. If your adult blog currently has advertisements which are adult in nature, you should remove them as soon as possible as to avoid any potential Terms of Service violation and/or content removals. Sincerely, The Blogger Team

Despite the fact we receive no money from the links here (we just link 'em because we like them!), blogger may simply view our links as enough grounds to delete us as they *are* links to adult websites. We will be backing up our content. If this blog vanishes, look for updates on our FetLife profiles (Master-Reaper or jenpet). We have reserved "http://rolesdefiningrules.wordpress.com" so we may just migrate over there, considering (as far as i know) they have not limited adult links to this extreme (yet).

Buggering doldrums...(nsfw)

Interesting that The Bloggess and Rayne posted about being down and depressed this week. Seems like it's been making the circuit lately, and i haven't been exempted. i hold no official diagnosis, and most of the time, i do feel fine and functional. But then there are suddenly these (sometimes long) stretches of time where i am not; not myself, not (really) functional, not anything. i get through the absolute base necessity needed by our household and then just, sit. i don't draw, i don't read, don't break out the xbox controller... i just don't do anything.

i put on fake smiles and giggles when required, and chatter incessantly as needed. But inside, i feel like an empty space, and the moment all needs are met, it's what i go back to. i'm good at acting fine, until the only one who can see is Master. That mindlessness concerns Master-Reaper outside of scenes. He doesn't like it and wants if fixed. For the last few days or weeks (i don't even know), he's been asking what he can do to help me, what i need. i've admitted to being overtired, which never helps anything.

So Master was going to let me sleep in today. He tried to, actually, pushing my body back into his bed. But something about my pathetic, depressed flop back into bed drew him back into the room, where he ripped my pants off and stuffed his cock up my cunt and his thumb in my ass. He filled the nothingness with a purpose, a use, making my body tremble at his whim. And then i made him breakfast.

Today, i think i can function at a little more than the base level. Just. And today i can have hope that i'm near the end of these doldrums, where it all goes on, and on, looking exactly the same as nothing. Because they've been buggered.

Shame...

So... Master-Reaper read my last two posts.

And...

We did have a verbal blow out. It was not fun. i cried a lot, felt useless, confused... Actually, the best way i can think to put it is: i felt an awful lot like a scolded Australian Shepherd that didn't know what livestock was, much less know how to keep it in line. Master-Reaper had even debated upon doing the whole "dog shaming" scene -- you've seen them? The pictures of the guilty looking pets with a poster board declaring their bad behavior? Just hearing him say he'd thought of it hurt worse than any physical discipline. i hate letting him down; but my thought process can be so defeatist that i wind up looking like the dog who had missed their entire purpose...before i even commit the crime.

In my life, i have picked up some very bad habits. Who needs 45 washed out sports-drink bottles for ice water bottles? There's food storage containers in the cupboard, so why save containers from store-bought foods that have long since been eaten? i exaggerate some, but i sometimes (frequently) save things that have no honest purpose, or save too many of them. This drives Master-Reaper nuts. And when we don't get enough time for the sadist's satisfaction, the piles of...crap...that have somehow wormed their way back into the mix of our life become the starting point for setting it all to rights.

We spent the morning after the blow-out getting rid of the piles and the hoarding, and have a better sense of order again... The trouble of not getting enough time to play with ropes or whips or ... well. That remains. We'll do what we can when we can, of course. But we are adjusting. And hey, the oldest kid gets a mini-vacation soon, so maybe we will be able to find more steal-able moments.