Some new toys arrived in the mail today. I am so happy! I love new toys, the new toy smell. Okay, maybe not the smell, but certainly the potential that they provide. Today we received the Viper Tongue whip/strap thingy and a Delrin Cane from Eden Fantasies. By all accounts on the Eden site, the Delrin cane is for serious players and I can hardly wait to unleash it all over my girl's ass.
Has she been particularly bad? No, but then I don't need a reason to cover that sweet ass with welts, do I? Besides, I get the feeling that what we both need is for her to have a good, long, hard cry; get all this stress from this passed semester out in one go. Start our summer break fresh. And yes, I'm concerned that the end of this semester will be the first chance I get to use it on her. Though, knowing that eager sadist that lives in my soul, it might well be tomorrow;)
That's the punch line about all this, the less I get to schedule my opportunities to use the girl, the more my desires just sort of take charge. Take today for instance, the girl was expressing how she had had muscle cramps all day in various places. As we sat talking, something that is sadly a rarity these days, she pointed out a small cramp in the muscles of her cute little foot. Concerned, I took her foot in my hand and began rubbing the spot. However, when she sat up straight from the pain and her face took on that cute little grimace, the sadist took over and I pressed my thumb into her muscle until she gasped and reached to take her foot away. How deliciously horrible of me ;). Still I couldn't resist, because I have been resisting all this time. There are moments that I am surprised by the restraint I have exhibited between this school schedule and the kiddo. What saddens me is how horrible it makes me feel to do so.
One of our favorite quotes is from Oscar Wilde, "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and the soul grows sick with longing." How appropriate in this trying time. And sick my soul seems. I have been watching a lot of preview material coming out of Infernal Restraints and Device Bondage and my mind floods with juicy thoughts of terrible things to do to my girl. Staking her out in the yard all day, cooling her off with an occasional splash of the garden hose, warming her up with an hour in a hot box.
Or, crucifying her up on a St. Andrews cross for all to see, resting the weight of her body upon a roughly rounded block of wood between her legs. Licking her body with the Dragon Tail whip as she reddens under the sun.
Taking her for a long hike while bound in stocks with a sawed down tree branch bound between her teeth and her sun glasses on, naked save for a back back and hiking shoes, lead by the clamps on her nipples.
Or even a nice picnic out in a grassy field, her bound and buried up to her neck in the dirt, being fed scraps before pissing all over her head and placing the picnic basket over her head while I head off for a nice after meal walk.
And many many more. I keep thinking that I should just sit down and write out all these ideas into a compilation of stories, and I might. But I am saddened because our lives don't provide us these chances, nor chances for much, much more mundane things. And then there are the physical limitations that the girl is inflicted with, things that I am so desperate to get under control.
We've spoke some about them, the migrating pains, the stress induced aches, the general feelings of weakness and infirmity. I pity her so for these things, and that she so often feels put between the pain and the displeasure so evident in my face when they strike. Though it is not my intent to make her feel responsible for the pain she is afflicted with, I know that she takes it that way. As would anyone.
I am sure we have all had friends that have injured themselves, say a broken leg, and then apologize profusely for being unable to join in fun, or the person that is so sorry for getting sick with a cold or flu. How could they feel responsible? Or that we would hold them responsible?
Still, with the coming summer off we are both hopeful that our opportunities will return to normal, or as normal as they get with a child in the house;) Until then, my wild fantasies will have to remain just that. But one day, one day they won't be so unattainable or impractical and then, look for the pictures and videos on Fetlife my friends. Be well...