Friday, December 18, 2015
You Are So Nice...
But, I digress, I checked my car into the system with a nice young lady who greeted me when I entered. She asked me the usual service questions; what type of oil, any additional services, etc. She then checked in the garage with her colleagues, who appeared to all be on break. She returned to let me know that it should take about 45 minutes, hopefully less. I never take my car in when I'm pressed for time so I was not concerned about how long it would take. I smiled and let her know that would be fine and off shopping I went.
I should take this moment to mention that I strive to be quite mannerly in my public interactions, one thing I've always aspired to since I was young. Always the gentleman.
Anyway, so I spent the next bit of time wandering around the store, looking for suitable presents for the family and, of course, any easily pervertable objects that I could not live without. However, tis the holiday season and I have to watch my budget so I responsibly avoided filling my cart with odds and ends. Every so often, I would come back around to check on the status of my car and the young lady would update me as to the progress. It was taking a bit longer than she had originally estimated and I could see the apologetic crinkle at the corner of her eye when she would inform me. I let her know it was fine and continued perusing.
At one point I came back around to check, and she stated it would only be a few more minutes. Again I let her know it was fine and started to make another cycle around the hardware section when she suddenly exclaimed, "You are so nice!" It came out of nowhere, exploding from her as if it were both a sincere compliment and an uncertain accusation. I have to admit it caught me a little by surprise and I smiled, pondering a moment before answering.
I have a habit of deflecting such statements usually with one word, sometimes. For instance, if someone at work tells me that I am always so kind to our customers, I would reply sometimes. My same response if my slave flatters me with praise. Or anyone, really. Part humbleness, part self deprecation, part honest appraisal. No one is one thing all the time, I'm not always kind, I'm not always patient, etc.
This comment though, threw me for a brief moment. Partly, I think because of the way it sort of erupted from her, uncontrolled and uncertain. Partly because I had long since finished my holiday shopping and had spent the last while daydreaming about wonderful tortures for creature. It all must have taken less than a second, but felt much longer before a sly smile crossed my lips and I responded, "Not all the time."
Those that know me, really know me, would instantly know what I was implying with that statement. All the cruel torments and tortures that I have enjoyed subjecting my slave/s and play partners to. I could have just said, thank you. I could have responded with my normal, sometimes which is close to what I actually chose to say. But no, I had to tease, I had to offer that slight, subtle hint into my other self, my real self. Hidden away behind the polite intercourse of public interactions, the shy smiles, and acknowledging head nods. The sadist lurking, evaluating, contemplating all the time.
Was it a flirt? Was I testing her, to see if that knowing glint would appear in her eye. The slight upward curl of her lip, that unconscious reaction to a tickle of a naughty realization. Perhaps. Perhaps, though, it was as close to the self deprecating deflection as the brewing sadist beneath it all could allow for at the moment, caught off guard by her exclamation as I was. Either way, her reaction to my chosen response was not the upward curl of a knowing smile, but the deeper furrowing of her brow as she absorbed my response.
Still, I continued on my way, making one last lap around the store. When I did come back around, the full staff had returned and my conclusion was handled by another. She was present though, and flattered me once more by telling the gentleman who was ringing up my purchases and completing my service request that I was very nice and to take good care of me. I took the opportunity to thank her again for saying so at that point, perhaps erasing some of the notable effect of my previous statement. With that, I was on my way.
Still, that moment, the way those words ejected from her mouth sticks with me. Has our society really come to the point where mannerly behavior is met with a sort of disbelieving shock? Is it really so rare? I hope not, but I fear so. The way people drive, darting jaggedly from lane to lane when there is barely enough room for them to just manage it to gain two feet of advance. The way people dive through doors so they won't have to be caught holding it for someone else. Deplorable, and self absorbed. But I did not start this entry to harp on societal failings, I just wanted to share a memorable moment of a brief, raw recognition of being a mannerly individual in the modern world.
I certainly do strive to carry myself politely and mannerly through the world. The gentleman dominant, the polite sadist. What alternative would there really be?...