Wednesday, November 12, 2014


It's been an interesting few months.

Practically since we moved, Master had a good job and life was pretty awesome. We met pet, and she's fun, a bit of a bookworm, likes watching Doctor Who with us, and wonderful for Master. Then, his job became toxic. It seemed like it turned overnight, but really I'm sure it wasn't. Master talked with his bosses a lot, tried to make it better, took vacation time to try and soothe the bad parts of the job… Of course, it didn't get better. Master talked with me about the options – and I hated seeing him get sick, physically and mentally, for months, over things he couldn't change.

So he left the company. We have savings built up, and were sure a job would come as soon as we needed one to. It did. It’s a job – not nearly as awesome as the previous company’s client, but it’s a job. The best part was, we had a whole month off together. We crammed in as much fun as we could and tried not to stress the small stuff.

But Master’s back at work, and it’s hard. I’m angry because…I’m lonely. I still have not made any new friends here (I’m an introvert – and good at being introverted, which makes it very hard to make friends), I’m pagan (a lot of people here are not), and the people I am friends with…well, they aren't parents. Our youngest is starting to really enjoy self-entertainment, which means I maybe could do some painting…if there was space to do so, but logistics are against me – I am sure Master doesn't want his bed covered in oil paint and thinner. I feel too much hurt a lot of days (extended family sorrows), paired with hopelessness, and I know my fuse is short and grace is outside of my reach.

I feel bad because…this is not how I want to be. I want to fix the troubles I’m having, but I see no (current) solution…and so I go through the motions, and try to find a shred of grace for every moment…

I am lonely. And I withdraw more because my spark of hope is very small, and only have a few subjects which are pleasant to discuss. So I try and remember the positives: that Master and I did enjoy a whole month together with a number of kinky nights, that Master found pet, that there is a job that keeps the bills paid, that things do change and that leaves the possibility of better wide open.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Ass Punching...Yum

After more than 10 years, you’d think I’d understand my inner masochist. I like thuddy impacts, no, sting is better, no, thud. Awwwww…insert expletives.

Seriously, I avoided single-tails because the impact of stingy floggers made me cringe and flinch, drove me out of subspace and maso-space, and in general, made me feel bad. But Master picked up a Dragon Tail made by Victor Tella, and that was challenging, but heavenly. Our first trip to Thunder in the Mountains, Victor Tella was one of the vendors, and we picked up twin signal whips, and oh, how I love them. There’s not enough space to use them at home, but oh, they are lovely.

So between heavy, thuddy floggers and sharp stings from single-tail like toys, I should like it all, right?

Hah. Poor Master.

Lately, I’ve been craving some whooping, and Master is, of course, more than happy to oblige (and a quick aside: how many subs and slaves would it take to wear out Master’s arm? I would like to know, because he gave pet one heck of a whooping and had plenty of gusto left for his creature.), so once he had me immobilized in ropes, he started in on my backside with one of my classic favorites: leather gloved hands.

Oh, yum.

And then he punched me. In the ass.

I liked it.

So, he figures I’m sufficiently warmed up, so he starts to apply other implements. Paddles. Canes. And each one of them drove me right into not-fun-pain. On the first impact. Because I have no safewords, and because I’ve struggled with many issues in the past during beatings, he expects me to communicate, find words and help him navigate the tricky headspace that exists inside his creature. So I do.

“Master, I don’t know why, but that’s feeling really not good.”

It’s frustrating for him. His sadist can enjoy me not enjoying things (especially when we play with fear), but when it comes to impact play, there’s a fine line for him; if I’m being driven into anger instead of pain, it’s no fun.

So he punched my ass more. And it was hot. I could tell that there was a lot of force behind them, and he later told me they were simply straight punches, with none of the proper twist and pop. I twisted and squirmed quite a bit, but I liked the feeling of his leather gloved hands slamming into my body. Some blows were delivered to my legs, but mostly they landed on my hindquarters.  I wanted more punches, but I also wanted him to plow into me…

After, my hind end was so very, very sore. But no marks. No signs that he punched me in the ass for about half an hour. It hurt to sit. It ached when I walked.

Master said he hates the fact I don’t mark easily.

Three days later, the first signs of bruises appeared.

My ass still hurts. And there are faint little bruises.

Life is good.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

pet's Perspective: First Night with creature and I...

 Here is the long awaited account of pet's first night together with both myself and creature...

Master was kind enough to ask me if i was cold before commanding that i strip for him. i pulled my dress over my head and folded it to put away. i got down on my knees, waiting for him. creature came out of the bathroom and Master asked her what sweet things she had to wear. creature replied by returning to the bathroom and putting on a wonderfully pink bra. Now upon the floor lay both of Master’s slaves in just their undergarments for him. Master stood over us contemplating the sight and decided what he wanted to do first.
To begin, we were both adorned in chains that bound our legs and arms. Then we were both sealed in darkness as Master teased us with his voice. He ordered us to scoot close to each other on our knees. We placed a knee in between the others legs and i could feel creature’s warmth start to surround me. There was nudging of heads which lead to our first kisses under Master’s command. Meeting each other’s lips under the blanket of darkness soothed me and excited me. Hearing her soft moans filled me with such warmth, it felt wonderful feelings her entangle her mouth with mine. We kissed for several minutes, although i felt i could get lost in the dark and warmth forever.
Master then commanded creature to lay down. Master then had me be “sweet” to her nipples. i sucked on then for quite a while as Master enjoyed watching from above us. Then i started to realize that creature liked it more when i was a little bit rough with her. i teased her gently with my teeth and i could feel her milk drip into my mouth. i then felt Master’s hand start to undo my bra and pull off my underwear. Master lubed up and ass and i felt the cool touch of metal against my bare skin. He asked me if i was ready and i replied yes, trying to concentrate on creature as he filled me. Then he fingered my already soaked cunt, i was able to concentrate on pleasuring creature for a bit. But this Master started stretching me with four of his fingers and i started moaning so much. At some points i lay on creature’s chest, unable to do anything other than moan and shudder. creature nudged her face closer to mine, her breathe felt so good on my face. As i got to my tipping point, i felt her arms wrap me into her warmth and then i begged Master to cum. i erupted, moaning against creature. i so loved how she touched me, there was such care in it.
Then Master took out some puppy toys and he threw them for us to retrieve for him. This was the first time i have ever done puppy play and i must say i enjoyed it very much! creature and i got to play tug of war. Growling at each other as we romped around with the rope toy was so much fun. Master eventually wanted us at his feet where creature and i showered him with love, climbing up his legs to our ultimate prize. i so enjoyed pleasing Master with her, i still felt so much like a puppy. creature then took control of the camera and i finished Master on the couch. This apparently gave Master ideas because he then ordered creature to put on the strap on. i was extremely confused with what the plan was as i knelt before creature. She sat on the couch with her legs spread to me. Master told me to “go to work” and i giggled a bit before trying out the bright green plastic strapped to creature. Still in such a puppy mood, i started to chew and tug against the dildo. creature and i laughed as Master continued to situate his scene.
i felt him kneel behind me and start to pull out the anal plug. He massaged me and then started to insert something much larger. i turned around to see i was sporting a short black “tail” which i, or course, had to shake a bit. Master then started to fuck me with his cock as he moved the plastic black toy in rhythm. i moaned intensely as i struggled to concentrate on continuing my work on creature’s green plastic appendage. i kept myself on the edge as long as i could, but it felt so amazing being filled. i begged to cum and was happy when Master gave me permission to erupt. This was such an amazing moment since i had been talking for Sir since we met about how badly i wanted to be filled.
creature then went to enjoy a wonderful shower and Master and i moved to the bed. He had me lay down on my back, my legs and arms spread wide. Master teased me with a whip for a while until he was ready to fuck me. He commanded me to straddle him and i climbed on top getting ready to ride him. We laughed and moaned for quite a while. Master making me erupt in orgasm over and over again. After a while when i was starting to feel sleepy, Master suggested a shower.
Before adjourning to the bathroom, Master asked if i wanted to be doubly penetrated again. i moaned yes please and got on all fours to wait for him. Master retrieved the black anal plug and started lubing up my ass. He filled me with the toy and his cock and started to move them in the same rhythm. It felt so amazing that i felt like i was about to cum right when he started. i held off for as long as i could then begged Master for permission to cum. He granted it and i shuddered and moaned, truly spent at that point.
Master and i then got ready to use the shower. He grabbed the cuffs for the shower and set them up as i found the right temperature for the water. We stepped in and Master soaped me up first. i love when he cleans me, he gives me such joy. The best thing though, is when i get to clean him. Master handed over the shower poof and started to lather him up. i love running my hands over it body, cleaning and caring for him. After we were both clean, Master bound my wrists to the shower wall. i loved how helpless i felt with my arms over my head. Master teased my exposed and tender clit, making me cum several more times.
When we were both done drying off, Master and i sat on the couch and enjoyed the chocolate cake that was left from the dinner Master, creature, and i enjoyed. It was a wonderful way to end the night, i felt exhausted and satisfied.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Rambling rambles...

It has been a little while since I have posted an entry, and I wanted to share some of the fun we have had. I try to focus this blog upon our kinky adventures, but we also try to show the reality of the Owner/property lifestyle, the good and the bad. The bumps in the road and the moments of smooth sailing.

Recently there has been quite a bit of good, and I am very grateful for it. As we have posted recently, we have been joined by my willinglittlepet, my collared second slave. It has been a very delightful and rewarding experience for all of us thus far. Oh, the kids have kept us from having much play time together as a group, but we have had at least one night all together to play in a hotel room. The connection between the three of us runs deeper than just the shared interest in kink, play, and my ownership of them. My girls share interests in common in reading, spirituality, interest in rocks and stones, food (though not the patience for more time intensive recipes), etc. Delightful and beyond my hopes.

Since that night in the hotel, the pet has spent the night in my bed twice now. Bound both times, of course. In chains. The first night, we were all together; me, my creature, and my pet. The second time was this past weekend, the night of her first trip to the Sanctuary, and that time it was just the two of us. What a fun night was that. Such a cute little pet of mine. I bound her for the ride down, a short chain locked under the car seat, shackles and handcuffs padlocked to the chain. As an added bonus, a pair of painted in sun glasses, a public blindfold. We had a great conversation and the occasional reach over grope. 

Owning her has been quite a pleasure. Given that she lives in a near by town, there is a component of distance but also frequent visits to allow for training, play, corrections, or what have you. For the distance aspect, the pet is required to text me, as creature does, whenever she leaves one location and is headed for another. Additionally she is required to text me at bed time and when she wakes. There are certain rules she must follow throughout her day, but for the most part, I have not dictated much regarding her schedule or day. My pet is young and in college, has friends and family and as such has some degree of autonomy, however, she is always to consider how her actions would reflect upon me. Sort of a guideline in lieu of specific rules.The pet wears her collar, an identical metal ring to creature's, each day but I allow her constant access to the key if it needs to be removed for family or functions.

The pet's friends have been supportive of our situation, even those that are not inclined themselves. Either through curiosity or just friendly caring, they have come to understand and accept that she is my property and what that basically entails. Some have even been kind enough to take pictures of the marks I have left on her, and oh have there been some marks. A couple of her friends have their own interest and have been talking about putting up a Fetlife page of their own. I keep eagerly anticipating this, though have not seen one yet. 

Even the logistics have worked out beautifully, better than I had thought. From the beginning, pet was introduced to the whole family. As far as the children are concerned, she is another family friend that comes over on occasion. The creature will take the children out on errands or visits when the pet comes over for play. However, my eldest has begun to ask questions of her visits; "What is she doing with daddy? Why are we leaving and she's coming over?" The curiosity of babes. As a result, we have had to adjust. When the pet came over this past weekend, she had to text me when she arrived and wait outside for me to come down. When we came back, and she spent the night, the next morning we had to sequester the children in their room so that we could say our goodbyes. It was hard and felt wrong. The whole point was to avoid her having to be a secret. I know it is temporary and the creature is right when she says that more opportunities to have the pet over for dinner and just hanging out time will make it easier on him. 

Still, given all the potential complications and challenges, this has been an incredible adventure and I am so grateful. Here is to many, many more adventures! Stay tuned, dear reader...

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


It was a busy, lovely, weekend. We were fortunate enough to have someone we trust with our children suggest an overnight. It was our little girl’s first overnight ever, so there were lots of nerves on my part. (Turns out she was better able to handle it than her big brother ever handled his first overnight.)
 It was quite nice: Master and I picked out a hotel, then wandered the mall together (we even got a few Doctor Who things, but Master didn't let me go shoe shopping!!! Nuts!), Pet was able to be in the same area as we were, we met for dinner, and the evening was spent in so much play…Master-Reaper and Pet didn’t go to sleep until nearly 3 in the morning! Crazy people! ;)
Despite my uterus being a complete fucktard (3rd period in the space of 7 weeks, yay!), I did manage to get in on a little of the fun. Pet has an emerging puppy self, and it was really fun to romp around the hotel room with her as a pup, competing for the ball or the rope bone (and Master’s!). I know there are other female puppies, but I’ve never been well poised to be involved with their play in puppy-pits at events, so it was a new experience for me to romp about and compete at fetch. In the past I’ve played with kitties, but they definitely aren’t as rough and tumble as pups – heh – and I just can’t imagine getting in a tug of war with my favorite kitty – she’d be all shaken up from that, and I am not an intentionally mean pup… Pet and I growled and played tug of war with each other, snapping up the rope bone, and trying to steal the ball from each other. Master was trying to be fair and toss it evenly in the small space…. It would be lovely to be able to play in a larger environment…something else to look forward to.
It does amuse me that though I have a “no furniture rule,” for some reason, my pup self never remembers that rule during play – when I turn the game into a bit of keep away, I wind up jumping on beds and couches – when I’d tugged away the rope bone and leaped on the king sized bed to get a bit of victory, it was lovely to be in that puppy space and rough-housing with another pup.
But that really did me in, and following that, I can’t really remember much – it was pretty glazed over with pain. (Not to whine or anything, but when I had my c-sections, that was nothing – even when I’d only taken an ibuprofen  or two, I’d only rate my pain on a 5 or 6. Every time Aunt Flo comes along, I’m sobbing on the floor and can barely function, and my pain rocks up to 7’s and 8’s – what gives, uterus? I know you’re “abnormal” and everything, but…quit it! I’m missing whole chunks of my weekend because of you!) At some point, I fell asleep on the floor and the sounds of Master and Pet perforated my dreams.
It is a weekend I’ll be thinking of fondly for quite a while. Master has some pictures and videos that will probably be showing up on his FetLife profile soon.

Monday, August 25, 2014

lots to say, and snu snu

 I’ve been very quiet lately. There are a few reasons. Some are quite good, some are quite silly, but here they are.
In bullets.
Something I don't think I've put here before.
(Also, I typed this in word, so all my capitals are of Word's doing...because I don't care to capitalize things in general. Lazy.)

  •  Someone ripped the “.” (period) key off the computer I use.
  • I have had migraine headaches back to back for weeks at a time. They’ve been glorious – either crippling due to sound or light, or both, and tending to persist on the left side of my head as if someone is stabbing burning glass forks through my eye, temple and out the back of my head.
  • Our small peoples have been keeping us busy: the littlest one has discovered she can reach the kitchen sink, therefore, everything goes there...the eldest is trying really hard to boss everyone else around because he wants his way. All. The. Time. (Perpetually going on teenager, here – he’s going to be a monster when he really is a teen. Hopefully he’ll be a happy monster.) 
  • I’ve been enjoying watching Master smile like a happy, sadistic, mad man as he and willinglittlepet begin to explore the potentials involved in the relationship. Seriously: seeing the way she makes him smile with a few words via text is just a beautiful thing. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed visiting with her when the opportunities have been presented. She’s engaging, thoughtful, and genuinely full of smiles.

But even though I’ve been in the grips of a migraine again, Master and I made the most of Sunday night… He’s been feeling terribly sadistic for a long while, and earlier, he’d been teasing me about my love of sisal rope (incredibly rough, bitey rope for anyone who hasn’t encountered it; fun for bondage, if you don’t mind slivers and puncture wounds, but bad for suspension, just FYI), especially as I can’t stand lace for reasons that many people would say “I don’t love sisal” – it tickles and its scratchy. (Antique lace is an entirely different thing, but that’s not often on lingerie or fetish-wear.)
See? I’m still in the throes of a migraine, I can tell because I am completely off track.
Regardless. Master kept mentioning sisal. And the gas mask.
But it didn’t happen like that. Master pulled out these pretty (though pleather) arm binders we’ve had forever (but haven’t used), and slipped them on me. I didn’t think I’d be able to bring my arms terribly close together, but turns out the widest gap was really only a few inches. Yay! It was incredibly blissful: I felt very contained, very helpless, and very driven. The severe arm bondage did show me just how poor my posture really is though, because after just a few minutes I could feel my abdominal muscles begin to reach the stage of hyper flexion – that painful burn in the muscle due to underuse and prolonged stretching.
I’m rambling again. Writing with a migraine is just brutal, let me tell you. I am *so* glad that it’s shifted to sound sensitivity…Moving on, yes?
Master fucked my face a bit, and then told me he was going to use clover clamps on me. He did not go into further detail, but began strapping the gas mask to my face, which made me a bit panicky because of the pressure to my head. It turned out to be pretty okay, though, and lots of fun when he wasn’t cutting off the air and making it collapse on my poor nose.
By this point I was pretty desperate. So when he opted to get out the tripod and make me wait for him to use me, I felt pretty pathetic and very beast like.
And then the agony of the TAZapper (that crazy looking triangular electric toy you so often see in videos). I hate that thing – really, it’s not like electricity to me, but like hitting yourself with a hot match. Oh, sure it makes electric sounds, and those are kind of scary, but it’s the feeling that I really don’t like. But because it drives my fear (of the sound and the stupid little fire-bite), I get incredibly aroused…
I’m really afraid of failing to hold off an orgasm before Master grants permission. Sometimes he drives them so quickly, I wasn’t even expecting it. It’s a “rule” I haven’t broken since the very early days, and he plays me so eloquently and well, I’m afraid he’s going to make me break it. If he’s fucking me and I stop moving it’s because if I twitch, I might not be able to wait for his pleasure.
That happened a lot on Sunday.
Master asked how many orgasms he pulled out of me…and I can’t answer that. Anymore, more often, it seems like I can’t remember how to count when he’s using me…
Anyway. Master scared me. He hurt me. He even made me cry a little bit. And then my shoulder popped. I don’t think it popped out of socket, but it popped. So Master asked if we needed to stop…but I told him we didn’t…so I cried more for him.
And despite the stupid migraine…I’m so blissfully happy right now.
I’m sure he’s going to slap the videos and pictures up on his profile. He gets off on “watching” people love his videos and pix, engaging in conversations about the moment… It cements the memory in his head more clearly, I think. Plus he likes watching them repeatedly himself. He’s a perv.
Go look. ;)
I can say that because migraine.
I can’t believe I just used that sentence structure.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

pet's Second Visit - A pet's Perspective

A day spent with Master
i walked to his door carrying the objects he had asked me to bring along. As i entered Master’s home, i was able to give creature the book i wanted her to borrow. i also included a recipe that i wanted to share with her. Master, creature, and i were able to talk and eat for a couple hours together which i enjoyed quite a lot. After a couple hours in, creature left to go on the visit she planned, taking the children with her. This left Master and i alone, with hours and hours to spend together.
Master ordered me to strip for him, i took off my clothes, leaving the panties i had carefully chosen for him. i enjoyed having Master look at me and photograph me. Eventually i stripped down all the way for Master and got on my knees before him. This lead to us snuggling and kissing for a while, it was so nice having Master hold me. i love snuggling with him, it makes me so happy. After a while Master said that we should head upstairs so he could place accessories on me. We both agreed but still snuggled for a moment longer. Master told me to walk on his left side, a bit behind him. i was happy to practice this and work to make him proud. Inside Master’s bedroom, he started to adorn his pet. He placed on me a large collar that i chose and then started to decorate me with chain. i enjoyed the chain quite a lot, the cool feeling of the metal was exciting. More pictures followed the chaining.
As i stood before Master, he started to play with me. Master looked into my eyes and talked about a topic we had brushed over earlier, cumming on command. i focused on this as he spoke to me and i was able to cum at least once. This is something i am very excited to work on. Sometimes it is difficult for me to cum immediately, i enjoy forcing myself to a point where i can’t control it. The idea of cumming to Master’s command thrills me so much.