Rules and Reminders

i've gone and done it again...From time to time, i am quite good at pushing Master's buttons.

Though Master and i have formed a 24/7 relationship that works for us, He's less demanding than many other Dominants i have encountered. There aren't a whole lot of "rules" for me to follow. The directives that i have been given are "serve, please and obey my Master". Pretty simple, right? Oh, sure there are a few actual rules that we live with, including needing to ask permission to leave the room, not sitting on furniture without permission and to always give Him the title of "Master" when i speak to him.

So, why do i feel the need to gripe about how "difficult" He makes it? Why do i always paint myself into a corner when it comes to lashing out at the confines of my submission? Especially considering that as long as i am serving, pleasing and obeying, Master pretty much gives me as much rope as i want? What is it, about Master reminding me to obey His simple directives, that sends me off into a battle of wills that i will never, ever win?

i think i'll never know the answer to those questions. But, i did it again. i lashed out against Master's directives, and was willfully disobedient and obnoxious. Granted, it was something silly, and we laughed while i did it, but Master did tell me, repeatedly, "NO" and yet, on i went...and continued to dig myself a hole by griping about some of the very few rules that Master has lain down for me...for the second time in one day.

SHEESH.

Regardless, for this week, Master has decided to show me how easy i really do have it. Instead of offering Master his title, following every time i speak to Him, i am required to say “my Master, my Owner.” Instead of being able to look at Master, my eyes are to be downcast (i find this one difficult, as Master's eyes are so expressive and beautiful). Furniture is purely off limits...even my computer chair (gaaah!). When Master comes home from work, i am required to offer him the evil, evil white plastic kitchen spoon (which Master calls the “punishment spoon” while i simply call it the evil plastic spoon). For an entire week, i am required to wear a collar – and while this one shouldn't be a big deal (and i'm sure that some would say “WTF?”) i'm claustrophobic and collars often make me feel panicky. Lastly, before i'm allowed into bed, i must passionately worship Master's feet and beg to be allowed the permission to sleep in His bed...

It's only been since this morning, and already, i know i have wracked up a few reminders of my place and my responsibility to be Master's obedient girl.

While i long for the time to be close to Him, and very much look forward to His return home, i am also dreading it. While i do not want time to speed up (there are far too many things that need doing!) i do not know if i can handle this coming week.

i do hope that it will remind me that Master is very kind and generous, and the rules that He has given me are very simple, and it shouldn't be a problem for me to obey each and every one without needless griping.

i am sad. Roles Defining Rules has only existed for about five days, and already i look like a horrible, horrible slave and not much of a submissive.

An appropriate beginning...

Well, I wracked my brain (I wish I had a rack, ohhhhh, but I digress) to find a topic that would most appropriately consummate this blog. Fortunately for me, my precious slave provided me the perfect topic.

The realities of a 24/7 Master and slave lifestyle.

W/we live a 24/7 D/s lifestyle and any of you out there that have ever actually tried a 24/7 relationship know that it is anything but roses (some lovely thorns though...). Oh it is very rewarding and truly a remarkable experience, but the balance of factors, i.e. the slave's needs coupled with the demands upon the household from outside influences such as work, bills, family, etc., coupled with the realities of human nature, coupled with time to be one's self... So on and so on. It is about knowing yourself as much as knowing the slave or the lifestyle you choose.

I have known my slave/wife for just about ever. W/we met way back when in elementary school, though the specific grade is still a matter of debate. W/we began O/our journey into the BDSM lifestyle in high school and were married a year or two after graduation. Being newly-weds into the scene the appeal for me to collar my new wife as a 24/7 slave was, as one would imagine, inescapable. Now I will probably never openly admit that I suffered from the "I know it all" attitude... Wait, did I just... Nah. Any way, everyone who has ever lived with someone for the first time will recognize just how long it takes to truly become accustomed to them. I believe the figure I had heard once before was a minimum of two to three years to become in sync with their living habits. Now add to that the pressures of being "the one in charge" who is (mostly in his own mind) supposed to automatically know every tiny variable and how it will affect the larger picture, as well as a particularly wild girl who is still trying to find a comfortable place within the ever constricting role placed upon her.

Whilst playing, when the roles were clearly defined she behaved as she should and W/ we had many great experiences. When it was the middle of the day and W/we had just gotten home from work or college; it was hit or miss. It was all a matter of moods, was she in the mood to obey? Was I in the mood to allow her not to? How long did W/we fight about it at the time? If I swatted her ass for her misbehavior, would it constitute the correction of a willful slave or something worse? Not exactly smooth sailing.

Fortunately for U/us, W/we loved each other enough and respected each other enough (sometimes just barely enough) to see it through. W/we have been married now for going on eight years and she has been my collared slave for nearly ten.
And now, just within the last three or so years have W/we finally started to settle into a comfortable 24/7 lifestyle. W/we have gained a much better perspective on who W/we are, how W/we complement each other, and how O/our roles should continue to be defined. (Notice the blog's title, eh? Eh?) Not to say that W/we have, or are likely to ever stop growing or redefining the roles and rules, but thankfully W/we have been moving quite well towards the proper direction. Which leads me (how expertly navigated if I do say so myself) through the soup of letters, to last night.

Ah, last night, in the middle of the night I might add, my slave was having some issues in getting comfortable and staying asleep. She became frustrated and began to kick the covers off and flop around. This kind of violent motion kicks me into survival mode (a long story of years of nighttime body bombs from my younger half brother who's sole purpose in life at that point was to torment me horribly) and I jumped out of bed ready and willing to beat back the barbarians at the gate, because who else but a roving horde of marauding vandals could make the bed shake like that. Groggy and a might bit irate, I was understandably irked to discover that the ruckus that I had mistaken for an invading war party was simply an irritated girl who was discomforted and apparently felt the need to be pissy about it.

I took a deep breath and stood over her in the least menacing way I could and asked if there was anything I could do to help assuage her apparent discomfort. I offered water, I offered food, I offered sit on her head until she stopped squirming; to no avail. Instead she felt it was necessary to lie there peeved and silent. Now one thing I imagine that all Doms take exception to is when their property starts to ignore them. Needless to say, this did not go over well with me.

Now, the point of all of this babble. (Yes finally, the point) Given O/our relationship, there were a number of ways I could have handled this. The married option, of which there were two or three choices: 1. Crawl back into bed and forget the whole thing until morning. 2. Tried everything in my arsenal, including baby talk, to try to talk her down and get to the root of the problem, offering what ever bribe was necessary to get it out of her, including chocolate, flowers, and the like. Or 3. Go out into the front room and sleep on the couch, forgetting the whole thing until the morning.

However, I am very pleased to say that I chose the D/s way. That was to sit her ass up in the bed, wrap my fingers into her hair as to affirm my control and ownership over her and revoke her privilege to sleep in my bed if she were going to be such a whiny bitch about it. This got her attention, and quick. Then the tears came and the sobbing and the pleading, which of course I love to hear.

I made her get down on the floor, on her knees and convince me that she should be allowed back into my bed. Now mind you all, this was at freakin' three in the morning after I had finally managed to drag my tired bones to bed at midnight; I was in no mood for anything short of piteous groveling and heart felt begging from a lowly slave mutt. She huffed and she puffed and whined like a little bitch for the first fifteen minuets, but after a while she finally realized exactly what I wanted from her and she bent down and kissed my feet, buried her head in my crotch (W/we sleep in the nude so she may very well have been poked in the eye;) and begged and groveled like the lowly, piteous little slut slave she is. Marvelous.

I made very sure that she was regaining her composure and that she would not be throwing any more fits in bed before I allowed her to come back up. A slave must know their place, period. I told her that she was just stressed out and needed some time to take a deep breath before trying to go back to sleep. So she nuzzled up to me and sobbed her last cute little sobs. Amazingly, W/we were both able to get back to sleep from that point on.

As the morning came around I must admit that I was concerned that my reaction to her problems might have stepped over a line. Oh sure, I believe that I acted appropriately for a startled, pissed off yeti of Dom at three in the bloody morning, or even just a normal, everyday Dom faced with a pissy slave. I laid down the law, put my slave in her place, and changed her perspectives to enable her to sleep soundly. Though, how would she feel? Would I be ducking dinner plates, counting the number of strokes I would later have to administer for the malicious flinging of our dinner ware? Would I get the silent treatment combined with just the right amount of tears to make me feel like an uncaring dick? Would I be forced to a week or more of hands on self-love because she suddenly came down with "the cramps"?

To my great surprise and delight, my slave thanked me for my handling of her. She said the magic words, "You were right, Master" (oh, like candy), she said she was apparently more stressed out than she thought she was and needed to be put back into her place.

Validation! Now I don't think it too un-Masterly of me to be excited by the prospect that enforcing my slave's role upon her in the midst of a very real life situation was the right call. In fact I see it as a milestone. W/we are at a point where O/our D/s roles have taken more of a precedent within O/our every day lives than any other. W/we are progressing further and further along the path of the 24/7 Master/slave. How wonderful;).

A little about Masterofslavej

I've been in the lifestyle for as long as I can remember; long before I was even aware that there was a term for it, much less an entire subculture. Having been married now for nearly eight years and having owned my submissive slave wife "j" for nearly a decade, with whom I truly started this journey through the world of BDSM and its varied practitioners, I feel quite like a veteran of the scene. W/we have frequented clubs and organizations, monthly play parties and have thrown a few of our own private meetings. W/we have played with many partners, each bringing a new slant or flavor to the overall picture of the Master/slave Dom/sub BDSM world, some novices needing to be broken in and some damned near professionals within the scene...

As all knowledge comes from personal experience, and nearly every experience in BDSM is truly exquisite, then my goal is to gain as much truly exquisite experience as possible. From a sampling of nearly every sweet and succulent type of female submissive to a broad pallet of bondage and torture techniques. I've been within the scene long enough to know, at least to a degree of what I have experienced previously, what I like and want to see more of. I am almost always open to new and different things and there are many things I have yet to try on the right willing submissive such as outdoor pony play...

I have experienced and tried a great many things through my years of play. Bondage of all types, mental domination, breath play, torture, sensitivity play, pet play, public play, cages, some water play, forced orgasms, etc. I have also gathered a nice collection of toys and implements over the years including paddles, cuffs, collars, chains, gags, hoods, crops, a dog cage, and the like. Some of the best play sessions though have proven to come from very little or simple toys and a lot of imagination. I have a taste for both intricate, involved scenes and simple scenes requiring nothing more than a slave and a chair...

My turn-ons are simple; a willing, submissive woman and anything involving that. Truly, the appreciation of lust and all it entails provides for interesting times. Everything involving the female form is just so enticing and it only gets better when that woman is collared and bound. Oh yes. Hearing a submissive woman utter the words, "yes, Master" cuts right through me...

A little about jenpet

Since we're just getting started with this thing (and it has been a long time coming) it is typically appropriate to introduce who, what, when (and sometimes why) at the very least. (Oh, i am a “punny” kind of girl.)

Though i didn't really know that there was such a thing as S/M or BDSM or M/s relationships, i've always gravitated towards the submissive, masochistic end of things. It's a wonder i didn't end up accidentally doing myself in as a child with clumsy self bondage... (chuckle)

Thankfully, i have known B for well over half of my life, and as a perpetual best friend who was always open to communication, renewing the friendship and longing for a future together, He has been a guiding light in my life. Interestingly enough, it was a silly game of truth or dare that clued us in to our mutual interests in what He knew of as BDSM and i thought of as “that thing which only exists in the dark”. Following that little game, as our relationship grew, blossomed and expanded, we delved into the fascinating world that kink opens to those who are willing to give in to their desires.

B and i are creeping up on ten years as Dominant and submissive - and eight years married - and in that time, we have made amazing self-discoveries, formed friendships and fallen deeper in love.

We participated in PEP (People Exchanging Power) made friends, visited other kink-friendly clubs (some of which have gone the way of the dodo, sadly), played at play parties, hosted a few friendly get-togethers, played with friends (who are still much loved, but distance now prohibits continued interactions) and grown leaps and bounds as Dominant and submissive, Master and slave, Sadist and masochist.

Without B, i would be lost. He is, as i said, a guiding light – i am thankful that throughout our relationship, He has worked so diligently with me. While i fit best into the submissive's role, sometimes i have difficulty in behaving as a submissive should. i am wild, willful and opinionated. Too often, i want things done my way, instead of His way, and have been known to throw a tantrum or two.

Of late, however, i am finding it easier to sink into that somewhat mythic place called “sub-space” and exist in the desires He has, despite my own thoughts.

Now, we are crossing into new territory, and are less timid about putting ourselves out there.

We are no longer newbies, and while there are still some concepts that terrify me, i am no longer afraid to put myself under His hands and in His thoughtful care. i am becoming more comfortable with who i am and less concerned with what people think of me.

i do think it is time for the world to look at BDSM and begin to understand that those who practice the lifestyle with as much care and concern as most of us do are not dangerous, evil or disgusting. i think the more of us “kinksters” who give voice to the community, perhaps those who we define as “vanilla” can see that what we do, is actually a healthy, open relationship.

So here we are...Letting others see our Roles Defining Rules.

And that's the who, what, when and why of it.