Defining...terms

There are a lot of differing definitions in the world of BDSM. i have seen many people argue, debate or kindly disagree on the meanings of submissive and slave, subspace versus flying, Dominant and Master... At some point, i believe, each person needs to decide what their own definitions are, because really these relationships are a deeply personal thing...

While i truly believe that it is very important for each person to come to their own decisions about what a word means in their relationship(s), i thought i'd throw my two cents out there as far as how i define what i am, what Master and i do and how that leads me to feel about it all... Because i am not any sort of switch and have no desire to, i am going to leave out definitions of the Dominant - i simply have no base for reference, and i cannot define my Master. (grin)

The obvious, of course is submissive and slave. Personally, i'm still a little iffy on these definitions. For me, it now comes down to the fact that i belong to Master. i identify as a willful submissive - i'm bratty, yes, but i also do find satisfaction in pleasing Master, even in the simple act of opening a soda for Him, as He would do for Himself. However, because i have accepted His ownership, i am His slave. No longer am i simply the bottom to His Domly-self, but i have tried to give more of myself, to quietly accept His ownership and all that comes with it, be less the willful and bratty submissive that dwells in my heart. Sometimes i fail miserably at that, but i do try. The key difference here for me, is i may be able to submit to another, but i don't believe i could accept any other ownership other than my Master's. i have done a lot of soul searching about this, and i'm pretty sure that Master will be the only one i will ever call "Master" and mean it.

i have heard a lot of submissive folk refer to subspace as the place they drift off to in scene and post scene. That lovely place where endorphins carry on, lending bliss and sometimes memory loss to our recollection. i have never referred to those lovely feelings as subspace - it's what i call flying, because in those moments i am freed from all of the mundane worries, thoughts and feelings and let myself drift away, away and away in the sensations created by the scene. In these moments, words don't form on my lips, just a satisfied hum that lets Master know i heard. While i am floating out there, i feel freed from my body, floating on air, unfettered by matter though still able to feel the remnant sensations of the bondage, the pain and what-have-you.

My version of subspace is the part of me that is willing to submit, serve and please. It's the part of my brain where everything becomes erotic - once i am in subspace i am further from the normal limitations i experience, and free to enjoy everything around me. Master asked me which comes first, arousal or subspace, and for me, they are linked...one opens the door to the other, either way. If i read something that is arousing, i also find subspace, if i find pleasure in serving, i become aroused...

So that's a start. A tiny glimpse into the way i view the terms that define who i am and where i might go...