Thursday, August 28, 2008

Out there somewhere...

The other day was reading Deity's blog the other day, specifically, his post entitled Mydentity (clever, clever, Deity...The reason i love to read his blog - er, one of them anyway) and was reminded of how hard it is to be part of the kink community. Not something i think about often as Master and i are fairly isolated from the public scene at the moment and 98 percent of my kink-related interactions are online. Which is far different than when we first entered the scene. 90 to 97 percent of it was with honest, fellow kinksters living in the same region and the leftovers was online.

But it is hard. To have to keep your identity to yourself, hide behind a facade, to protect the life society expects you to have. i remember those days - being terrified that my personal choices would hurt my career, and scared that because i chose to be beaten all kinds of people would think that my Master was less than honorable.

And it's also hard, to be out there. To strip away the layers upon layers of viels that have hidden your whole identity from the kink world and vice-versa.

If you do find Master's or my profile on FetLife, you'll see we're pretty out there. While we're still low key (very, very low key) about our preferences with our vanilla family and friends, we have exposed (hehe) ourselves to the world. Our faces are now out there.

Some of the frustration of hiding ourselves is gone. The fear of being critizized is not. But, i have no career to fret over, now, and realizing more completely, to more people, who i am, has been a very enlightening experience. Terrifying, too though. And maybe that's why i'm so ramped up at the moment.

Yes, that's why Deity's post resonated with me so. We're out there way more than we used to be, and that's scary. And that's hot.

Too bad there's real life stuff that needs doing.

And, just by-the-by, the search that led me to Deity's lovely blog: corsets (or some version of that).

1 comment:

Deity said...

jen,
One of the things i have found, having dipped a toe/hand/entire body into the public scene, that even there, i have to hide a portion of my identity. The nature of the public "scene" is one where all you need to do to get in is pay.

That's not a very scrutinizing process, and i have no idea who is there and what their level of ethics and respect are. In fact, i've had a few episodes where someone's behavior was entirely out of line.

This leads me to still remain protective of my identity and my submissive bottom's, despite the fact that i'm supposedly in welcome company.

Thank you for your kind words and your link to my post. I'm very grateful for any recognition.