Sunday, April 6, 2008

Smooth sailing isn't always best

The other day, Master and i found a rare opportunity to spend some quality play time together... While it didn't quite work out as planned, it was a fantastic moment...and despite the...hurdles...of that session, i feel more His adoring girl, more grounded as His property, and definitely more loved...

Master always likes to mix it's never just one kind of play. There's almost always bondage (which i adore), typically some kind of involvement of a crop, whip or evil plastic spoon, some sensation play (clothespins, electricity and the like) and sometimes an over-abundance of sexual torment of some fashion.

Either way, the whole play session typically leads to my need to be...well, let's just put it this way: i'm a bit of a nymphomaniac (but my body betrays me and doesn't always give in to its own needs).

Regardless. The other night, i was bound, teased with warming massage oil and hand sanitizer (interesting stuff that....a cool burn across the flesh), electrocuted, blindfolded and subjected to various bits of sensation play. i was a very happy masochist. i thoroughly enjoy electricity, (though i was terrified of it to begin with) and do fairly well - sometimes handling the maximum setting with quiet little whimpers.

Something was off, though, because as my Master was gagging me with my favorite ball gag (which we got
here) i didn't just sink into the sensations of it, but started reacting badly, and tapping Master's leg, which is a habit i picked up at Tae Kwon Do, meaning, "it hurts" (giggle), but during our play, that doesn't mean anything. Despite the fact i was gagged, i could have indicated to Master my need to use our safe words, as my fingers were free to sign (knowing a bit of sign language is a very helpful thing!), but i didn't.

i wigged out: started panicking and twitching, and poor Master couldn't figure out what the heck i was flopping about for. i started focusing too much on one sensation, instead of relaxing into everything that was going on, Master's hands on His girl, the cuffs around my wrists, the rope wound around my torso squishing my ribs just enough to cut my breath a tinsy bit short and the electricity twitching through my legs...i was focusing only on the bite of the electricity, and convinced myself that it burned.

Looking back on the session today, i'm not sure it really hurt as badly as i felt it did at the moment - yes, i probably needed a break from the TENS, but i could have gone about asking for relief in a much better way.

But. Despite that hiccup, and the interrupted cruise through our playtime, i felt extraordinarily close to Master, and my desire to serve Him had spiked. Was it just because i felt that i had "failed" Him with my floppy, temper-tantrum-like reaction to the TENS? Was it because we've experienced frustrations that ceased our play before? Was it because of the pain?

i still can't put my finger on it. But it resulted in my unprompted begging to suck His cock.

Which i have never, ever done before. Up until very recently, i had very little interest in giving oral pleasure to my Master (poor, poor Master). Girls, oh, yes, yes - i thoroughly enjoy eating a pretty cunt just about any day of the week. But never have i been as fond of cocks, even though my Master has an absolutely fantastic one. (Lucky me!!!)

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