Random bits and bobs...

 It's been kind of quiet around here lately. i've been snuggly, Master-Reaper's been creative - always doodling, thinking about His writing, and we've been enjoying being a little geeky by watching Series 1 of the 2005 reboot of Doctor Who. And Star Wars.

There's just not enough time for everything, and well, some things are a little harder to accomplish when there's (nearly) weekly doctor's visits. i'm craving marks, and that's not really something we can indulge right now, so when we do finally get the chance to play, i know it'll be amazing, but there's going to be a little sadness because heavy play has to be put on hold until next year. All of the awesome edgy punching and kicking...it has to wait. The wait will be worth it of course, every moment. But it's kind of hard because i'm all about instant gratification lately.

We are debating on going to the Halloween party at our favorite club. Master laughed and looked at me, asking what i'd dress up as... i think i could definitely pull off pregnant Catholic school girl, and i suggested He go as the principal/teacher sort. <smirk> i was amused. i'm not sure if He was.

We'll see. There are of course, many factors in play. Real life does that. But it makes me happy and comforted when He holds my collar in the middle of the night. It's proof that i am never, ever, any less His.

Ropes & Legs

A few weeks ago, we did a rope video demo to replicate a tie one of our friends on FetLife had seen. Doing the demo was so much fun, and the bondage felt really lovely. It was an interesting process, because for the demo, Master-Reaper tied it on me once before we began recording, took it off, recorded the tie, took it off, and then tied it a third time and took a few photos. Each time, i had the same leg in the tie for about 15 to 20 minutes at a time. i was impressed by it.

The next morning, as we were lucky enough to have the house to ourselves, with munchkin on an overnight, and Master-Reaper and i snuggled for a while, lazily working our way up to getting out of bed. i was feeling playful and sly, and so when Master-Reaper wasn't looking, i took two of His purple ropes downstairs to the  living room. After He'd eaten breakfast, He noticed them, and wondered if He'd forgotten to put them away. When He looked at me, He knew they'd arrived downstairs by other means. i don't play poker for a reason.

Eventually, somehow, through flustered, hot-and-bothered communication, i suggested that the tie we'd demo'd the day before was really comfy, really awesome and i'd like to try it again, on both legs at the same time... (If Master-Reaper turns down an opportunity to play with rope, He must be an impostor.) He decided to start the tie on my foot, as opposed to the ankle, and we cinched it a bit tighter than we had for the demo. Having stripped the use of my legs from me through this tie, it really helped me find that submissive, meek head space. We had really fantastic sex on floor pillows, and then snuggled there, my legs still wrapped in rope, watching one of our favorite shows (don't ask me what, because i don't remember!). It was really lovely, to just lay there, small, helpless, bound, in His lap.

Eventually, Master-Reaper said He wanted to fuck me again, which i thought would be lovely, but i asked if we could go to His bed instead (tender knees, you know!) and He told me He wasn't going to carry me up the stairs. Being my stubborn, determined self, i crawled up the stairs. With my shins bound back against my legs, it made it incredibly challenging, as there was no leverage to push my hind end up to the next step. When we reached the landing at the 14th step, i was panting . . . and dismayed by the height of the bed. Master-Reaper laughed at me, but helped me up anyway.

After, i was incredibly sad that the bondage had to come off. But rope bondage lasting over an hour is very nearly a record for me. And it left pretty marks!

Biggest Surprise Present Ever!

Shock. Surprise. Desperation. Fear. Awe.

All feelings i experienced in the last several weeks. In the course of moments. Every day.

While i never shared the birth story of our kiddo with the kink community, it define(s)(ed) - (as i'm not sure which tense is truly correct with the new information) - my experience as a parent. The birth of our munchkin in 2007 was traumatic for me, to say the least. It wasn't the natural, beautiful, woman-hood embracing experience i'd hoped for. Hence, my hope that Master-Reaper would be satisfied with one child. He was; though both of us often looked fondly at munchkin's infancy pictures and thought of how precious those moments were, how beautiful...

(A brief interjection to comment that my first pregnancy was awesome. i knew i was pregnant before the pregnancy test, i felt pregnant, and it was awesome - i even embraced my "morning sickness" which really lasted all day, and my only significant symptom until the weeks leading to munchkin's birth.)

Four years later, and America's insistence that the only forms of birth control which are readily available without jumping through hoops is abstinence or condoms (both of which i seem to frequently have bad reactions to) led to the events that have caused my emotions to run through cartwheels.

In March, due to the county clinic being overrun and understaffed, i was unable to continue low-dose birth control pills. Because they made me feel awful anyway, i figured this would be a good opportunity to see if my body could self regulate again. (let me just say, i will freely admit that i'm an idiot sometimes.)

i didn't have a cycle that month (when i say i didn't have a cycle, i mean - possibly TMI - there were no signs of ovulation, menses etc.); so i took a pregnancy test, with a negative result. "Whew! Of course, it took Master-Reaper and i years to conceive our first child. i'm sure i'm not going to get pregnant at the drop of a hat," i thought.

i didn't have a cycle in April. i figured it was just because my back was in poor alignment. That'd happened before. i felt absolutely normal, other than my spine running along like a zig-zag.

i didn't have a cycle in May. i figured it was just the stress of finishing school and finding a new place to live more than 60 miles away from the current residence. i felt absolutely normal, other than i wanted to pull out my hair.

i didn't have a cycle in June. i was ill, had the worst fever ever, in the midst of a run of 100 degree temperature days. Our munchkin was sick too. Besides being feverish and disgusted with the flavor of water, i felt absolutely normal, and attributed the missing period to illness (that's happened to me before, after all).

i didn't have a cycle in July. i started having night sweats. i was starting to think that my experience with munchkin's delivery and the birth control had spurred a possible early onset of menopause. "That'd be nice," i thought. "i hate periods!" Beyond the night sweats, i felt absolutely normal.

August freaked me out. i felt normal, but by the last of the month, still no signs of anything remotely like a cycle. So when September arrived, i attacked it with another pregnancy test, so i could take it to a clinic and say "What is wrong with me? Do i have cancer?"

And got a Big Fat Positive.

But.

But.

i didn't feel pregnant. i didn't look pregnant.

Somewhere between late 2012 and early 2013, there will be a munchkin number 2. Master-Reaper and i are . . . Shocked. Surprised. Desperate. Fearful. Awed.

And i'm in love with the little secret, who made their presence known only after the pregnancy test, with a swift and significant jab to the ribs. It's a sneaky and resilient babe, much like its father, and has all the indications of being as healthy and perfect as munchkin number 1. While definitely unplanned, and will have an impact on how often i'm able to attend the local scene (boo), Master-Reaper and i are looking forward to welcoming munchkin number 2 into our arms...

Rope Demo #1

Master-Reaper had a friend who asked Him to do a breakdown and explanation of a picture found on FetLife. As Master tends to be mechanically minded, it was easier for Him to record a demo of the process. 

We both had a lot of fun doing this for our friend, and would be happy to do this as requested, for any tie we've done or found elsewhere online. Either drop us a note in a comment, or over on FetLife, and we'll see if we can't demo the tie!

The picture in question was found on Clover's FetLife profile. The model in the photo is Scarlot-Rose, the rope done by WykD_Dave, and the photography by Clover. (Beautiful!)

Sex, Slapping & Sucking.

It's funny how much face slapping has come up lately (on blogs, at conferences, on FetLife, etc), and people either love it or hate it. Personally, i love it. i wasn't sure i would, because it was such a challenge for me. When we started, Master went very lightly, not even really a tap across my cheek. And i flinched -- big time -- it was scary to me! Master worked hard, and slowly, to train me out of flinching from His slaps; i'm sure it was months before He even hit me at a quarter force. From time to time, i still flinch, but most of the time, i'm able to push into the slap, even if it's closer to full force than one of those sweet little taps.

This morning, before the alarm went off at dawn-ish (oh, how i love having everyone on a day time schedule!), Master reached under the comforters and stroked my skin and asked if i was horny. Still sort of sleeping, i pushed back into Him as an answer. Before long, there was snu-snu happening beneath the covers. Warm skin against skin, sometimes momentarily exposed to the chill of the night air still hanging in the room, heavy breathing and hands roaming, tearing at sheets... Just a yummy way to wake up; morning sex before the full light of day overwhelms my senses...yum.

And in the midst of yummy morning sex, Master slapped me. Not full force (awwww), but not those little taps, either... His hand cracking across my cheek repeatedly made me feel loved, connected and owned. They made me feel wanton and beautiful, confident and sure, frisky and active, servile and pleasing...

Master gave me three or four orgasms, and i could tell His back wasn't feeling particularly limber, so as we'd warmed to the point where the blankets were just too much heat, i shoved pillows together and Master's face lit up as He realized that He'd just had morning sex and was about to have a morning blowjob, too.

It was a beautiful, impromptu start to the day. And i hope that Master rides the high of an unexpected, enthusiastic, morning blowjob as much as i am riding the high of His hand whipping across my face.

<3

One Third Married

Master and i have known each other for a long time. We were, as i believe we've mentioned (or argue over - we can't agree on what year we met!), childhood sweethearts. We have known each other more than half of our lives; closer to over two-thirds of our lives, actually. It's insane, and according to more than one person we've talked to, practically unheard of. People gasp when they ask how many years we've celebrated when we mention our anniversary. We laugh. We look at each other like newlyweds. A friend of ours recently commented that they really appreciate the "puppy-love" we have in our relationship, that sense of closeness and cuteness that couples newly in-love celebrate.

Looking back, having passed one-third of our lives together married (and approaching the 13th year of our kinkiness!), i realize exactly how fortunate i have been to find my soul-mate so early in my life and find that despite the different roads we took to come back together, we evolved together, our souls spun in such a way that they are a perfect fit, and as they continue to grow together and evolve together, i am grateful for all of our "sames" and "differents." i am grateful that our branches grow ever more entwined and tangled in each other, supporting the other, and all the needs of the other, while receiving the same support.

We compliment each other in the best ways, and i will forever appreciate His strength, the connection He gives me to a life full of love and blessings. His solidarity, in times where i flounder and grieve, keep me connected and aware of His love. His ability to pull away and seem cold-hearted, too, is something i treasure - those moments in which i can fall happily, helplessly, into the hands of a sadist who appears to be without mercy...(That might be my favorite. ;) At least, sometimes it is.)

All of it, i love. And i look forward, gratefully, to more years to find myself further entangled in His arms, His ropes, His leather, His love.

A funny little note: the friend is kink-curious...

But i'm not sure we've mentioned puppy play around him... 

Yet...

It's In the Bag...

Warning: Breath Play related post, read at your own insatiable curiosity...

A week or so ago, the girl admitted to me that she had been on the edge of asking to be bagged, and would have had we had a chance. I was floored. Breath play being one of my favorite things to do to the slave, and bagging being one of the top three options, I love it. The girl, on the other hand, would normally place being bagged in the same category as being anally raped by a cactus. So for her to willing request it of her own volition and without previous mention... Again, I was floored. 

In the standard cruel nature of timing and child rearing, we have not had so much as an opportunity since she mentioned her interest. That is, until this weekend. Last night, we had a long list of highly enticing ideas rolling around our mutual brains and bagging was definitely on my list. When the child finally went down, we took our chance. However, having such a long list, the opportunity to pull the plastic bag over her head didn't arise during the night. I tortured her, I fucked her, we both felt more like ourselves.