Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Considerations of a Second slave...

It surprises me some times the tenacious ferocity with which I will pursue MORE. I am constantly desiring more and more. More skill with musical instruments, more ability with computers, more skill with drawing, more porn to download. More and more and more. More time to do all of this in and more money to be able to support it would be great. But it seems that no one can have both, one or the other seems it. Either you spend all your time working for money with no time to enjoy it, or you have all the time in the world and no money to make anything happen with. This latter category is the one I find my self in at this moment (thank you very fucking much financial geniuses, whom I might add kept their jobs. Assholes).

It should therefore come to no surprise that this unyielding desire for more and more would apply to the owning of a second slave. Sadly, with our infant son (whom I adore) we have had so little time to live our lives the way that I wish, so little time for play or even the little things that really make this life of ours survive. Also, thanks to a nasty little stomach bug that's been hanging out at my house uninvited, we've had even less time and opportunity. Some days I feel as if I am a moment away from pulling my hair out from frustrations and stresses that will not seem to ebb, and yet here I am desiring so badly a second slave to lock my collar onto. WHY? I mean I fully understand why I would want one, why anyone would. But why do I crave this so adamantly now? I barely have time for the sweet slave love of my life as it is.

I do not wish a second slave because I am unhappy with my slave wife. I do not wish to replace her in any way. I do not desire a separate life, away from my current slave girl, on the contrary I wish them both to be good friends, or like sisters. I would like to have my second girl integrated as completely as possible into our lives. But what kind of life would that make for my son. How would we pull it off around family who visit quite regularly.

I've had two different experiences with taking a second sub. The first was a total disaster born out of youthful exuberance and ignorance (and more than just a little my passion for redheads). The second experience was better, and only really failed due to that lack of time issue and a few unrelated things. I've played with some pretty fun people and teased a great deal more. Even if I could find a good candidate out here were we live, would I do it right? Taking my time to get to know her, her situation, her like and dislikes, the potential pitfalls? Or would I just as eagerly slap a collar on the first little piece of hotness that was willing to call me Sir, like a starving man grabs the first semi edible thing that he sees, despite whether it is poisonous or not? I imagine the former of course, but I crave it so I am not 100% sure.

It is not always a bad thing, wanting more. Wanting more time with your family, more chances to say the things that matter, more appreciation for the work that you do or the effort that you give day in and day out. Sometimes, though, more can be just that. More. Nothing more or less than more (that's a fun little saying). Like the man said, "be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it".

There are so many considerations as well. What is her family life like? Does she come from an abusive background and is just looking for what is familiar or is she close to her parents and I can expect a knock at my door at any moment. What about her friends, her interests, her schedule, what kind of experience does she have if any. Would I want a complete novice or someone who is well versed? What age, 19 and naive or 30 and skilled? What compatibility would there be between us? What kind of involvement would I wish her to have; daily interactions, live-in? What relationship would I want her to have with my son?

My slave and I have discussed this and she has brought up the point that so few of those types of relationships last because it is very difficult to have more than one primary in a relationship, and who would want to be a secondary, considered a secondary, treated like a secondary in a relationship? I have read from some people for whom this works, and works well, but for so many it doesn't.

There is so much to think about and so many things that have to be just right for it to work and yet despite all of these things, I so badly desire having two slaves at my feet, locked in my collars, marked as mine. Such a puzzlement...

1 comment:

Jenny Lynn said...

the second will come when it's the right time. funny, it seems like around the House of Bear, we've had the exact same discussion about taking on a second but we've had the same issues but add one: look where we/you live..the last thing a person needs is the "Mormon" comments. i hate the fact that poly households can't live openly.

it was a great honor to learn from you and whoever gets to be the elusive second slave will be blessed and damn lucky.