Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Give in...

Oscar Wilde is noted for having said: "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself."

i guess i live by this, in many ways. i'm the kind of girl who will give into a food craving rather than spend my time trying not to think about it. Ever since Master and i began our relationship 11 years ago, i knew that i couldn't live with the status quo relationship ─ i wanted something more kinky than the average intimate relationship. i just didn't have any idea that there was a vast number of people out there describing themselves as fetishists, kinksters, or any number of terms you can link to BDSM.

i cannot express how relieved i was that my Master knew and understood these cravings, these temptations that i have had since i was...young.

My soul is satisfied with the things i haven't forbidden to myself, and i feel more complete the more i continue down this path of temptation...

On the flip side, living in an M/s relationship with pretty strict rules opens up lots of new doors for temptations. Like, i'm not allowed to masturbate without permission. So i have all these little fantasies that pop up and i can't do anything about it until i've asked ─ i mean, begged.

Or i could, and suffer the consequences. See? My soul is growing sick with longing for a nice orgasm right about now. And when i began this post, there wasn't even a way to ask. How unfair is that?

lolspeak is appropriate: imma go powt nao.

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