When Try Becomes an Excuse...

As we have written about a great deal, our opportunities for play have dried up like a watering hole on the Sahara thanks to our little one. We have tried to sate ourselves on the subtler aspects of our high protocol dynamic, but it seems more and more that this just serves to remind us both how lacking everything is.

This has also brought with it an interesting situation. To be completely honest, as I expect my slave to be, when faced with a task she is unsure about she tells me she will try. For instance, I gave her a paddling just the other day for not getting the laundry put away the day she brought it home from the laundromat. This gave our son plenty of time to spread it around the bedroom and nearly the whole house. Obviously, not good. Not to mention the wrinkles in my work clothes that are just unacceptable.

After the punishment, I asked her if she was going to remember to put the laundry away right away the next time. She responded with, "i'll try, Master." Now once in a while or when I know there might be something that will potentially interfere with her ability to get some task done, I can accept i'll try. However, it seems that I hear that being uttered every time I tell her to do something or to be more mindful of something. It appears to me that i'll try has become a blanket excuse for only putting forth the barest of effort. When there is a task for someone to do, whether it is knowingly within their ability or not and they approach it with try, it seems that the task is less likely to get done. This largely strikes me as a huge lack of commitment. I also cannot help but hear Jedi Master Yoda every time she says i'll try, "Do, or do not. There is no try," and though I'm a huge Star Wars fan, that little green bastard is getting damned repetitive.

I know that right now there are a number of huge demands upon both of our time. Our son and my slave's school work have taken an obvious tole. As mentioned before, I feel that school should take some priority, especially since in doing so she is obeying my wishes. However, I cannot help but feel that any and all other desires or interests that I may have have fallen so far along the way side that I cannot even see them in the rear view mirrors any more.

I feel what is needed is a re-dedication to her role as my slave through heavy, immersive play and punishments. However, such activities have little chance to be realized for a long time, thus causing the whole thing to circle back around to the beginning. What fun...