Twisted

Recently, i've been having a very lovely conversation with someone who isn't part of the BDSM lifestyle. They have been very open-minded, listened to what i had to share, and illuminating for me, as well. There are so many things that slip from memory as we progress through the years, and after ten of them, sometimes it is easy to miss those core values that we've built everything on.

One thing we talked about is whether or not Master has respect for me, for what i am to Him. He does, He often appreciates my intelligence, the conversations we share and the general, down to earth "vanilla" interactions we share. It's simply my place ─ regardless of His lovey-dovey feelings towards me ─ to remember to treat Him with respect, to do my best to please Him and be obedient... Our conversation was much longer, and though i didn't share everything i felt, this open conversation spurred me to realize exactly how important what it is we do is to me. Yes, i do it because it makes Him happy, but that's not the first reason. The real reason is because i find fulfillment in it. i am happiest when i can set aside all the pretense that i was encouraged to don as i grew up, and lay aside everything but the core of myself. When i bear myself down to smoky quartz ─ my desire to serve, to be owned ─ that surrounds my self-identity i am at peace.

Also recently, there has been a flurry among the feminist bloggers regarding BDSM, and that has not been as enlightening or heart-lifting. Just when i think the world at large is really ready to let people do their own thing without damming them, somebody has to go and talk in circles about how "evil" BDSM is and completely ignore any relevant points that might encourage them to see it from a new perspective.

The cries of "BDSM promotes violence against women" and "BDSM is a violent sex act that is wrong" (i'm paraphrasing here) make me frustrated. Firstly, i'm fine with feminists (i'm not one, but that's my choice, and i think that's what feminism is supposed to be about, isn't it? Choice?) i've met some very enlightened, friendly, open-minded women who are in charge of their own lives. And while they may not "get" BDSM , they're not damming those who chose the lifestyle. Secondly, i've always seen sex as an inherently violent act. It's a power exchange, even one done in love. Sex brings us to our base instincts, and regardless of how enlightened we think we are, once we're in the sack...i think it's a good thing for us to succumb to the pleasure of sex. (i mean, really, could you get off if somebody was sitting there talking about work, chores or who they ran into at the store? i'd much rather hear heavy breathing, groans of ecstasy and springs squeaking.)

Some Protocols of a slave...

I've been thinking recently about the protocols that I have for my slave and the fact that I don't believe I've mentioned more than a handful here. Given that this Blog is about Roles Defining Rules, it would only be fair to mention a few.

she has been by collared property for a decade now and in that time many of the rules I've established have changed. Our dynamic is ever changing (hence the blog's name) and it is that flexibility, I believe, that allows us to overcome the challenges and obstacles that come our way. However there are three rules, a creed, that endure. My slave has mentioned them previously: Obey, Serve, and Please. Sort of our Trinity Principle.

Being an owned slave, she has no rights. she is property and I regularly remind her of this. I enforce my ownership over specific parts of her to keep her mindful of her place. For instance; her breath belongs to me and I'll deny her air at a whim and her lovely and creative brain belongs to me, the thoughts and opinions she has are mine to twist and shape as I wish.

One of my rules is that she must beg my permission before engaging in any activity. For example, my permission must be given before she will be allowed to eat, sleep, use the restroom, crawl into my bed, leave my presence (and she must back out of the room once she is allowed to leave and crawl on hands and knees upon returning), use any piece of furniture (save for the chair at her computer - long story), and so on.

I control her speech through a number of protocols that I enforce strongly: she must be respectful, she must use pleasing tones, she is never allowed to argue, she is never allowed to say "no" lest it be to answer a direct question, and there are a number of words that she is not allowed to use period. For example the word "yeah" has been stricken from her vocabulary and carries the penalty of five push-ups for every slip. I swear, my slave will have shoulders and arms like Arnie if she does not stop using it soon. I can deny her speech entirely and leave her yipping, whimpering and panting to express herself, and I might add that it is a great deal of fun for me.

I control her body through a number of exercises and protocols to keep her fit, flexible, and ready. Yoga, belly dancing, martial arts, all of which help to focus her mind and center her body. (Admittedly, due to the winter and our child, this has fallen to the wayside more than I would like to see, but with spring coming I'll be enforcing this more strictly.) I also control her body through a number of positions that she is expected to know and execute correctly. For example, "dog" places her upon all fours, back arched, head and ass up. "Stand" places her on her feet, shoulder width apart, hands clasped at the small of her back, eyes straight forward. These are just a few examples of her current repertoire and I intend to expand this to include a greater number of positions in the near future.

I control features of her body by deciding what she will wear, her hair style and color, shaving, hygiene, etc. I don't use this to the extent I would like due to the area in which we reside, that is to say a rather repressed community. I am looking for a collar that I like that would be acceptable in public and I have seen several that might do the trick. We have also been designing a symbol that I will have tattooed upon her, marking her as my property. Given that we are in our tenth year, I would like to settle upon one that we can have placed upon her for our anniversary. This is more difficult than it may sound as I am a very critical person and the idea of a permanent mark that will forever symbolize my ownership places a great deal of importance on getting just the right symbol. I like the idea of a bar code, specifically the one attached to her SLRN, however this has become somewhat cliche these days.

At home, she is expected to be naked and collared at all times. However, with our child this has been pushed to after hours when she is to strip down and bring me her collar. (Even after all these years it is still such a giddy joy for me to have her naked and at my feet.) When retrieving anything for me she is to crawl to me with the object in her teeth like a dog (provided it is small and light of course, could you imagine anyone dragging say a chair or a full tool box in their teeth? Then again...) and kneel at my feet awaiting my recognition to offer it to my outstretched hand.

As for sex, I suppose it would go without saying that I control her very strictly here. I make her beg to be fucked like a little whore, wagging her ass in the air and whimpering. she is to beg for every orgasm and await permission before she may slip over that edge into the shuddering throws of ecstasy (what a fun game to give her a time limit of say fifteen minutes before I'll allow her to). I control her orgasms so completely that I will regularly force her to cum on command throughout the day, while driving, focusing on a project, speaking on the phone, etc. So much fun. In addition, I regularly take her at a moment's notice during the day, inspecting her each time to ensure that she is wet and ready like a good slave should be.

I assign her writing assignments, art projects, blog topics; all to keep her mind focused upon her slavery, her place. I control her online activities (though allow her a large amount of autonomy given it is her only real outlet out here) including whom she may befriend on Fetlife, groups she may join, etc.

Well, there you are, a somewhat general listing of the rules, protocols, expectations, and controls that I have for my sweet little slave. As we continue to grow together, face new and interesting challenges, and further explore her enslavement these rules will no doubt change and grow with us. Thats the benefit of Roles Defining Rules...

Lets Take a Dip...

The other night we seized the opportunity to play a little. I have been toying with the notion of a little water torture and, as my little slave came to inform me her task was done, I grabbed her nipple and dragged her to the bedroom. Quickly stripped of all clothing and a modest breast harness tied on, I took her to the bathroom to enact my devious plan. I had her lie in the tub on her stomach and quickly bound her feet to the harness. I then pulled her hands to the small of her back and bound them also to the harness.

Helpless, just the way I like her, I thought with an evil grin. I then turned on the faucet. Slowly the water began to pool at the bottom of the tub, tenderly lapping against her thighs and breasts. Now, personally I was hoping for a little bit of, well, surprise with this, but there was very little chance of that with our bathroom set up. I guess that's the trade off between a sudden surprise and dreadful anticipation. Maybe one day when I have a huge dungeon set up all to my own... Yeah right;)

The water was slow but relentless in its ascent up her body, growing ever closer to her neck and then her chin. I have to say she was doing an admirable job trying to bend herself in half backwards, keeping just out of reach of the rising water. I sat on the floor next to her running my hands across her straining back muscles and whispering gentle reminders of her inevitable watery fate. Of course, forcing her head under for several long moments at a time didn't hurt anything either.

Sadly, the water had just reached the base of her nose, and her eye brows kept jumping further and further up her forehead as if they could help hold her head above the surface, when we were interrupted. I had thought of just turning the faucet off and letting her steep a little, but our tub fun had unfortunately ended for the night. I opened the drain and left my soggy, panting slave to writhe in the draining tub. Poor slave;P.

Stay tuned for more watery fun, friends!

Haters, Chauvinists, and Feminists... Oh my!

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Fortunate

Bouncing around the blogsphere lately, i've come to see that regardless of the difficulties that Master and i have faced in the last year ─ we're pretty fortunate.

Yes, i've had some issues settling in and allowing my role to be defined by the rules that Master and i have agreed to. Yes, i've had some health issues that have mucked up our interactions. Yes, Master has had His own frustrations regarding the way that things have been working.

But.

We've been together as a couple for 11 years, we're coming up on ten years as a D/s transitioned to M/s relationship, and this year will be our ninth year of marriage.

And i still see our commitment to each other growing stronger, and no matter how hard the redefinition of our roles and rules has been and might be, both of us need that M/s interaction, we both crave it, it's something essensial to our personal idenities. We aren't done growing, we aren't done changing, but we move and grow together to accept the changes we see in each other.

In all the reading i have done on the internet, of others personal BDSM relationships, i have seen several relationships fall apart because the growth of each individual isn't accepted, roles and rules are not redefined, and while they may still love each other, they cannot reconcile the growth with the style of relationship that they shared.

While i understand that not all relationships are salvageable, i am recognizing my own fortune, and expressing my own grattitude that Master and i are willing to work together, to grow together and build upon our dynamic and the rules we have created.

And no matter what else happens, i am grateful for what i share with Master.

Q's answered by Masterofslavej

A long while back, we had asked for questions and comments to our blog. We know there are many curious people out there and we hope that at least some of them are curious about us. A nice man by the name of Florida Dom provided a whole heaping helping of Q for A. In true to life fashion,however, my time to answer these questions was gobbled up like dark meat on thanksgiving, or on a rap video. So, with my most humble apologies, here we go...


Q. Do you do tit bondage until they turn purple?

A. Oh yes. I absolutely love the look of a woman's breasts bound. I have on many occasions wound the rope so tightly around her breasts that they looked as if they were going to pop. Also that deep purple color they start to turn, luscious. On occasion, when I'm feeling particularly cruel, I'll bind her breasts tightly, put her on all fours for a fuck, then pull her arms behind her so she is forced to lay on them, grinding as she is fucked...

Q. Does she have any piercings? If not do you plan some?

A. Not as of yet. The idea of say nipple piercings is more of a punishment for her for something really naughty at this time. My slave has very aptly presented her case for not getting this done, citing that the potential for infection in such a sensitive area is too great. Plus, given her ample sized breasts, it would purportedly take up to six months for them to fully heal before we could do any breast play what so ever. This would be a great shame for both of us.

As for labia or facial piercings, I don't see the need nor desire for either of these. I have played with people who have labia piercings and I have found that they seem to get in the way more often then not, plus there is really nothing that can be done with labia piercings that can't be done with mean little plastic, toothed, clips. And facial piercings hold no interest for either of us personally.

The one piercing that I would really like to have done to her at this moment would be a belly button piercing. I have seen such beautiful designs and jewelry attachments for these...

Q. When you do bondage do you sometimes pull the rope tight in her pussy and is that a turn on for her?

A. In the past I have done quite a bit with rope harnesses, particularly with those that run up through the pussy lips, nipping and biting nicely. There have been times, when going out in public, that I have tied a pussy harness on her with the loose end sticking out of the back of her jeans, providing me with a lovely little handle with which to direct her around. This is a turn on for her, but one that she finds it hard to admit. Fortunately, her pussy rarely lies;)...

Q. How often do you make her pee in a cup?

A. At the moment, controlling her piss is more related to punishment. My hope is to make it a more permanent and regular part of her conditioning, however this is just not the right time. I do control when she may go by making her beg me for bathroom privileges, and have for almost the entire time I have owned her. There are many times when, especially if I am feeling particularly cruel or she has been bad, I'll allow her to piss but make her pee in the tub like a little dog. I'll even make her pant for me while she does...

Q. Do you ever pee on her in the tub or shower?

A. Yes, I do. Usually with little warning, I might add. There are some times when I'll come into the bathroom while she is in the shower and instead of using the toilet, I will piss all over her. Other times I'll be in the shower with her and have her squat down, as there is little room available for her to kneel, and cut loose all across her face and chest.

Q. Have you made her drink her pee yet instead of spitting it out?

A. I haven't yet, but it is coming... Just the other day, I had allowed her to use the restroom to pee, when I needed to piss as well. I entered into the bathroom to find that she had already finished and was washing her hands. I smiled and told her she was lucky the toilet was open, or I would have had to shoved my cock into her mouth and let loose. She just smiled...

Q. If her jaw is too small to make blow jobs comfortable, can't she turn you on just doing your tip?

A. Due to a very unfortunate period when my slave was closed for business for about two months, her oral skills have vastly improved. Not only has she developed a real appreciation for it, she has admitted to craving the feel of my throbbing cock in her mouth. Thanks to the benefits provided by cups of diced pineapples, she also enjoys having a mouthful of my cum. I am pleased to announce that she has successfully taken my cock all the way down her throat during a skull fucking session. The first that we have ever had.

Thus we look for the silver lining on every thunderous, fucked-up rain cloud that keeps my slave celibate...

Q. How often do you have scenes?

A. Honestly, as often as we can! Any more we just can't seem to find much time. For example, just today we were looking forward to an hour and a half of play time. However, what used to be half an hour of prep play and then an hour of fucking became a half hour of play period. We are both desperate for a full day or more of her subjugation, torture, and slavery...

Q. Does she have to shave her pussy?How often? Wax or razor?

A. My standing orders for my slave are that her cunt be shaved at all times. There are some times where I'll find she has gotten a little fuzzier than I prefer, and she is sent to the shower. We have not had her waxed yet, though the razor does provide for a day or so of little irritation bumps and some slight razor burn that can be fun in its own right when the time comes;)...

Q. Does she have to stay nude in the house sometimes?

A. I prefer for my slave to be naked at all times at home, wearing only a collar and perhaps some pumps. Infact, my ideal preference for any of my slaves is that they are collared at all times, naked at all times at home, and not allowed on any piece of furniture without express permission. It is such a joy to see a naked slave, collared, and kept on the floor. During colder seasons I'll allow her at least some clothing to keep her warm...

Q. Do you sometimes forbid her to wear a bra or panties in pubic?

A. In fact I had forbidden her to wear panties at the beginning of our relationship and as a result she now finds them uncomfortable. In a fun twist, I now force her to wear cutesy little panties or g-strings just for the humiliation factor on occasion...

Q. Do you make her wear revealing clothes in public?

A. Public play, given the small community we live in, has become something of a taboo for my slave. The very mention of it causes her to tense up and go quiet. How sad for me, however, it really does make for a great warning in public for misbehavior.

I chose the daily wardrobe for her as it is. As a slave, her body and her clothes belong to me and are mine to do with as I choose. Like a doll, I get to dress her up as I wish, which does often leave her walking about in sexy or somewhat revealing clothing. I do try to keep it a little toned down as to protect us from the community at large...

Q. Do you ever drip wax on her?

A.Wax play is not something that we do regularly given the mess. We also have not been able to find wax that will melt at a low enough temperature for her comfort. Now granted we have not tried wax play for quite a long time and her limits for so many things have increased over the years, so we'll definitely be trying this again...

Q. Do you ever put clamps on her nipples and/or pussy?

A.Yes, all the time. One of my favorite, yet sadly under used, activities is to handcuff her hands behind her, placing shackles on her ankles, placing clips like the kind one would use for potato chip bags upon her nipple and labia, and leading her around the house by a chain leash attached to her metal collar. It is so fun to watch her waddle, trying desperately to keep her thighs apart as to not twist those mean little clips. The chain of the shackles of course making that a most difficult proposition.

Most of our play includes some form of nipple clamps or clothes pins. I make regular use of her lovely, large breasts; binding, clamping, slapping, striking, ect. My slave has such lovely, sensitive nipples...

Q. Are people close by when you do kinky camping scenes?

A.We have not had a chance to do any kinky camping yet. It is something I am really looking forward to though. I have such wonderful and tormenting notions for my little pet when we do get to go. I think I'll bind her up and load her up, leading her like a pack mule to the camp sight on a leash to start. Things will get progressively entertaining from then on...

Q. Do you ever string her up by her arms until they become numb?

A. One thing that really irritates me about apartment living is that we don't have much capability for three dimensional bondage. I get to bind her to the bed, or tie her to a chair, but there is really nothing in our apartment that will allow me to bind her over head, especially if I want to hold her weight. We have done some bondage involving our bedroom or closet doors, but it always makes me feel so limited when considering the comparison of a nice exposed overhead beam. Sufficient to say, this is definitely in her future...

Q. Do you control when and what she can eat?

A. Yes, absolutely. I decide when and what she will have to eat and drink. I insist that she has access to water and milk whenever she needs it to maintain her health, however any food or other drinks are subject to approval by me first. When we are at a restaurant, I will decide what she will have and usually order for her...

Q. Do you have any taboos or hard limits?

A. I don't like to think of anything as a hard limit really. There is always room for improvement or advancement. I suppose there are some things that I will never go for. Things like: scat, children, snuff, things that are generally considered anathema to our community. Most everything else I could think of though might be fair game down the road...

Q. Are you planning on taking things to a new level each time she gets accustomed to one level.

A. Most definitely! I love to push my slave forward at all times and I hate to see stagnation or to loose ground. Ailments bug the hell out of me for that reason. For example, above I mentioned that her oral skills and her appreciation for such talents have vastly improved as of late, ironically as a result of an ailment. I intend to continue training her to further accept my cock in different ways and locals such as skull fucking, more blow jobs while bound, and eventually blow jobs in semi-public locations.

My style of domination, I suppose, is more instinctual than it is planned these days. Granted more out of necessity than any other cause. When I feel that I can successfully push her or challenge her in new and exciting or fear inducing ways, I do. When I feel it will be a struggle just to keep her at her current level, I push her to keep her there. I do on occasion have a chance to actually plan out some scenes based upon goal oriented training, but again this has been sadly scarce as of late...


Well, that covers most of that first set of questions. I am again sorry that it has taken me so long to post answers and I solemnly swear to keep up on my part of the blogging in the near future. Thank you all for being a part of this publicized exploration and please keep those questions and comments coming...


Masterofslavej

Obey, Serve & Please

The last few days have been hectic, frazzling and frustrating. i haven't behaved as well as i should ─ repeatedly. Master has been excruciatingly patient as i quibble, argue and resist before coming to what i should have done the first time: obey.

Master has given me a very simple tenant to live by from the start of our journey into our Dominant/submissive merged to Master/slave relationship, and that is to obey, to serve and to please.

That boils down to even deeper simplicity: obey. If i obey, i am serving, and that is pleasing. i know this, i've lived with this simple, innocent "rule" for over eight years. i know it by heart, i understand its meaning and i see it work. i see the delight on His face when i obey without hesitation, i see Him pleased by my willingness to serve and obey. Yet, so often, when i allow myself to become worried by a situation, frazzled or stressed by the world around us, i fail to simply follow that simple, lovely rule.

i have failed to obey.

Master did not, of course, let me get away with the behavior for long. But what hurts, more than the punishment for the misbehavior, is knowing that i couldn't keep one simple word in the fore of my thoughts, that i couldn't follow the simplest part of belonging to my Master ─ i was not obedient. That excruciating patience He does not offer anyone else, merged with the expression of hurt and disappointment in me ─ it all hurts that much more as i am so dissapointed in myself for failing to mind that one word...

i want to do better. i know i can follow that simple, standing order. i can obey. i want to obey. And when i obey, i will serve Him and it will please Him. It is up to me to do better, to obey without question, without complaint. It is up to me to not let the stresses and frustrations of life keep me from trusting Master. And all of that is possible because it comes down to the definition of obey.

"To follow the commands or guidance of; to conform to or comply with; to behave obediently."

That is possible ─ even for me.