Monday, November 8, 2010

Day Three of Thirty...

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Well, I think that is somewhat simple. I was born that way. I know that is more of a cliche these days but I feel it is true. Some of my earliest memories were of feeling an excitement at bondage and life threatening predicaments depicted on cartoons and television. Even from an early age I discovered the pleasures of masturbating and did so often, always thinking of the peril, the helplessness, and the control.

The games I played were often dripping with kinky overtones, the princes bound in the dragon's cage waiting for her prince charming to come and rescue her while I (the dragon) protected my pretty prize. The hero's sidekick bound helplessly awaiting some campy Batman inspired doom while I (the hero) took his damn time getting there to free them. In fact, looking back on it, I don't think there has been a single moment in my life that BDSM didn't play a part.

I was the kid that bound his toys up, finding them to his chagrin many years later while preparing a box for donations. Or worse, the questioning look on my mother's face when she found them first. The school kid who used jump ropes to bind girls to the playground equipment during cops and robbers games. The guy that always imagined leading the cheerleaders around in their outfits on the end of a leash.

Like most of us, I'm assuming, I spent so many years feeling alone and different. Many times cursing my oddities and destroying way too much viable porn after binging. Giving it all up for Lent, only to find myself immersed in it again and again. Then the day I discovered that it wasn't just me, and it wasn't just soul damming porn. That it was just another way of life, and one embraced by many people. How I desired to be a part of that world.

My first girlfriends were somewhat adventurous, allowing me to explore my own talents. Bondage, power exchange, public sex. I've written here about our early years, jenpet and I. How we were elementary school sweethearts, separated through our middle school years, to come back together in the later years of high school and have been together ever since. How we played one game of truth or dare that changed everything in those bygone high school days, bringing us both to the realization that we were kinky soul mates. And now she has been my collared slave for eleven years.

So, how did I know I was kinky? The same way I know I need to feed or breath the air. It is a part of me, through and through...

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