Delirium

Yesterday did not go at all according to any sort of plan. Master woke up later than He had wanted to. The boy-child woke up sooner than i expected him to. And so the rest of the day was kind of full of unexpectedness. Master and i puttered about, He worked on painting some of His miniatures, i thought about going up to work on my own project to be near Him, but the dishes were calling and it seemed the perfect day to make homemade chicken soup (bestest homemade soup ever, Master said). So that's what we did. It was quiet, and fun, but not at all what Master had planned for the day.

As the day wound down, Master and i began to feel tired, and worried that all opportunity would escape us. The boy-child was ridiculously excited and bouncy (his birthday is coming very soon, i think that may have some influence on the recent over-excitableness), and we were holding little hope in our hearts. Suddenly, i realized it had gone quiet. As we looked into the child's room, we saw that he had tucked himself in (dawwww! Cutest thing in the world!) and gone to sleep after all.

Master and i had a long conversation about what's going on in our lives right now, generally focused on the anal training and the things i don't like that Master loves...it was hard. And really complicated. One absolute rule we have is honesty -- half-truths are inexcusable and lies are worse. When Master asked if i was happy with the choice i'd made to be His property, i had to admit that, sometimes (very, very occasionally) i'm not happy -- but i am resigned to it -- and yet most times i am over the moon with the joy of being His. It sucked to have to say that.

This little spur of unhappiness comes from the times He does something that i loathe, that frustrates me, something that makes me angry, something that leads me to feel little nuggets of resentment and even a little hate. When we do those things, i have no idea how to cope with those emotions, no ability to handle them with grace, and they fester in my heart until the thing is long over. That, though is fodder for another post.

After the conversation, Master opted to use me and torture me before anything else, and we had a lovely session together. (More fodder for another post!) i was hurt, sore and sporting a few little bruises when we were done. Master had some photoshop things He wanted to do, so we came down to do those, following a shower for me, while Master was kind enough to take our dog outside. Amusingly, Master accidentally locked Himself out and scared the bejubus out of me by knocking on the shower's window, asking to be let back in.

Following that little adventure, we settled in only to have our child further disrupt the plans of the evening, as he woke up and had no inclination to be settled back into sleep. As a family we stayed up into the wee hours of the morning watching one of Master's favorite television series, which incited laughter and, in our fatigue, delirium. Eventually, the crash came, and while i was asleep by five, Master and the boy held out until around eight.

So while Saturday didn't go according to plan, Sunday's plans aren't looking to be very promising, either...

But the soreness from our play-time is with me today, and so is the delirium.