A Little Anal...

Well it has been a while since I have settled down to write on this blog and I'd like to apologize for it to those who follow us closely. I have periods in which I go through antisocial periods where I don't have the inclination to share much with others. But the new year is approaching and that cloud of public disenchantment is fading. 

So, what has been happening recently? Well, as the girl has written, the school semester has come to an end leaving us time to be ourselves. Well as much as we can with a 4 year old running around the house. Opportunities have presented themselves and been utilized. Last week we had the chance for a sensory deprivation scene. The pictures, of course, can be found on my Fetlife profile. We had discussed some rather hot scene ideas, things that had piled up throughout the semester, and one such notion was the idea of sensory deprivation. It was the girl's idea too, which made it that much more tempting. 

So upstairs we went. I began by taping each of the girl's fingers individually with electrical tape and then taping them all together with duct tape. The feeling of helplessness that comes over her when her fingers are bound in this way is delicious and certainly adds to the loss of senses. For her auditory sense, I placed headphone ear buds on her and plugged them into my laptop to pipe music into her ears. Then I pulled two hoods over her head, the soft cloth one and the heavy leather one. To exacerbate the feeling of restriction on her head, I locked on the leather posture collar. I then bound her writs with the metal shackles, which I love soooo much, and laid her on her back and chained the shackles to the bed. 

Her legs I bound with leather belts in a frog tie, keeping her cunt widely exposed to all the devilish fun I had in mind. A belt around her middle, squeezed down tightly as well as one around her ribs under her breasts and she could hardly breath. As an added touch, I placed strips of electrical tape over her hardening nipples and then placed the silver clover clamps on them. How that drives her crazy, the pain muted but still on the edge of what she feels she can handle.

So there she lay, blinded, deafened, unable to move, gasping for air, and exposed to everything I could think to do to her. A poke here and a prod there got her squirming and panting and I delighted in the growing trepidation that overtook her. When she spoke, she half shouted just to hear her own words, mostly pleas for mercy and such. The usual music to my ears. 

Because her sight and hearing had been deprived, her flesh came alive under my touch. The slightest breath drove her hips to grind. It was time to start tormenting her girly bits. I took one of the nipple sucker cups and poured a small amount of hand sanitizer into it before sucking it down upon her clit. Thus engorged with blood and over sensitized in general, all of her attention was focused on her sex. Perfect. 

It is wholly entertaining, the application of a powerful vibrator to a sucker attached to a woman's clitoris. The vibrations surround the swollen button of flesh but distant and overpowering at the same time. Oh how she gyrated and whimpered. Randomly, I would press the vibe against the plastic tube, varying how long and how much pressure I would use. Next I added clips to her outer labia, spreading her open wider and eliciting more squeals and whimpers. 

After a while of tormenting her with the vibrator and making her beg again and again for the chance to cum before I'd pull away leaving her quivering in denial, I finally allowed her an opportunity to shudder for me screaming. Then I yanked the sucker off of her clit suddenly, releasing all of that warmed hand sanitizer to spray all over her sex. How it burned, she cried and screamed, struggling against her bonds to escape the pain. I couldn't sooth her with my voice and couldn't show her my cold smile of sadistic pleasure as she suffered, so I just patted her stomach as if to say, "there there bitch, you'll survive." 

That really drove her over the edge and as the burn subsided she was practically streaming moisture down her taint. I placed the vibrator firmly over her clit and forced her over the edge again and again, delighting in the gasping piteous begging for one orgasm to end and the next to begin. Then I fucked her, I didn't even release her legs at first, just settled in between her legs and made her beg for my cock. As I pounded her, the only real way for me to let her know I permitted her to cum was to grab her hooded head and make her nod "yes". Again and again I nodded her head and relished the feel of her restrained body shuddering and bucking beneath me. At long last we were both spent and I took my time releasing her.

That was just one of the scenes we've managed to enjoy together during this break and I'm looking forward to the next one we have planned. We have discussed at length doing a sleep deprivation scene and it looks like this coming week will be perfect for it. Also, as the title of this post was meant to imply, we have made serious progress in the application of anal sex. Not only have we integrated it into a couple of scenes, the girl has gotten to the point where she will both ask for it and admit to liking it. A couple of weeks ago, while having basic normal living room sex (fun thing to say), while she was bent over the Liberator Flip Ramp we won from Eden Fantasies during one of their giveaways, I pushed my thumb into her ass all the way in and was delighted in the intense shuddering of her resulting orgasms. And just the other day we used the butt plug during doggy style sex with resounding success. I am so happy and proud of my girl as this marks one of the last true hard limits she has retained during our time together and her training. 

So, there is more to come and lots of fun yet to be had. Thanks for reading...

Make Merry...

...for it is the holiday season!

my semester has ended, and while life won't be topsy-turvy busy because of school, we're still swamped with things to do. Thankfully, Master and i have had a few significant chances to get in some much needed time to connect as Sadist and masochist, Owner and property. There are pictures over on His FetLife page, if you want to see. ☺

i'm feeling somewhat better, less depressed, less taken by my grief, more myself. Which is nice. On Christmas day, i'm sure i'll cry, missing those who aren't with us this year, but i am looking forward to sharing the holiday with Master, as i have for the last 11 years.

But beyond Solstice, Christmas and the birthdays that fall in between and after, i'm really hoping that Master and i might come up with one or two days that will belong solely to us -- er, Him -- in which Master can do all of the things He wants, whims uninterrupted by everything else. We hope.

Meanwhile, from us to you, Happy holidays. Blessed Yule. Happy Solstice. Merry Christmas. Or...whichever holiday is most appropriate to you. May your New Year start with a blessedness, may 2012 bring you happiness, peace, joy, and lots of kinky good times.

Meh2 & Thankfulness

Still sort of meh. i'm looking forward to Thanksgiving - though it will be a sad one. Even when you know someone is unwell and will be crossing over soon, the moment it hits still sucks. And it sucks because that new loss, however different or far apart it is from the old losses, will still tear those wounds open, just enough to hurt. i try to keep remembering that we were given more years than we expected - that she was ready to go home to her love on the other side. Yes, i'm being purposefully vague and feeling sorry for myself about the loss. (That being said, i still send and share my sympathies with my online friends who have experienced their own losses this year, and to those who are still struggling to see their families healthy again.)

Most importantly this Thanksgiving, for me, though:
1. Master loves me. He puts up with me, He takes care of me, whether i am well, ill or grieving.
2. Master and i have an amazingly intelligent and beautiful son.
3. Master likes my family, and is loved by my family, and He's willing to spend time with them.

<3 You, Master. Forever and always. i know that these last few weeks have been filled with much "meh" but my heart finds the song of joy when You smile at me.

If anyone out there is reading... Have a happy Thanksgiving. Treasure your loved ones, and yourself.

meh.

So. We're totally staying on top of blogging and everything. (eyeroll.)
Right now, i'm personally struggling a bit. Except for my bright spot - Master - things have been kind of hard. Things around me have kind of spiraled. i recently lost someone very close, have had bad things happening to friends, family and have felt like a complete failure as Master's property.
He keeps reiterating that these things have been beyond my control, but i can't help but feel that i'm letting Him down. It feels like years ago, when i would literally, not move for days because i was too eaten up by the darkness, the brokenness i sometimes feel. i feel pathetic, unprepared, and i feel a bit like a fool writing this in the blog (but then, we've never tried to present ourselves as a flawless painting, so i guess it isn't so out of place...).
i don't want to be this way. But grieving takes time. Realizing that i can't control the world and keep everyone safe, happy and healthy isn't going to drag me out of this, at least not all at once.
But there's no option to lay here and cry for days. There's no time for that. And even so, i feel like i'm falling flat, not keeping up with the things i need to do, other than the most basic...
But we're here. He is Master and i am property. Just not entirely functional property.

 

Turn the fan on!

We didn't fall off the face of the Earth.

Summer did get super busy and super hectic, though. We're still trying to squeeze in kinky fun wherever possible. We're still muddling on. i've headed back to school -- boo 12 credits this semester and (sadly) 3 credits next semester. We're trying to beat the heat, but must confess it's largely beating us... Last night at 9 pm it was still 90 degrees (F). Blasted heat. Tonight doesn't look much better.

i haven't forgotten about the 4th "Thunder Recap" that i promised. It's mostly written, but i lost the high from the event, and it makes me kind of sad that we don't get to have super intense fun like that as often as Master or i crave it, so it's been hard for me to finish writing. i will do my best to post it soon, though.

i also have a few other ideas percolating, and hope to get those out there, and hopefully either Master or myself will find the time to write up some of the kinky fun we do manage to squeak into our frantic lives.

And with that, i must go stuff myself in the freezer, because it is far too hot to be doing anything else.

Whee!

It's been a crazy few weeks here...

And Master and i are excited people. This weekend, we'll be kid-free and attending an event we've wanted to attend for years. We're going to Thunder In the Mountains!

Even better, we'll be able to spend some time with our dear playmates Master Pravus and Red Vinyl Kitty! 

Even though i've always wanted to go to Thunder, i wasn't too sure how i was feeling about it this year. i mean - it's not easy to break away from the routine, and i'm, well, crazy-nut-balls-anxious about everything that isn't routine. As we've gotten closer, i've found myself more and more exited about the whole thing. There's a chance that we might run into folks we've met on FetLife (though we won't be able to make the pre-Thunder meeting), there's lots of cool seminars going on, throughout the weekend, and play-parties. Master and i haven't seen a public play party in at least seven years. We remember them fondly, and we're pretty excited to see how those work out. 

As soon as we're back from Thunder, we're planning on blogging the experience. Because Thunder is an extremely privacy-oriented event, there won't be any pictures from the event itself, but if we manage to get some private playtime in, of course we'll have photos of that to share!

i'm off to start the packing! (Yes, i know it's only Wednesday, but that's okay. i want to be ready for Friday morning with plenty of rest under my belt.)

1, 2, 3 & 4 Monday

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Nothing in Place

 Oh, the kinky fun we've had! Lately, things have been shaping up reasonably nicely for Master and i to snatch some quality time together. It's meant a lot, to both of us. i feel more grounded, more satisfied in my place, and overall, i think Master has generally felt better about things, too (other than the depths with which He hates what He has called "enduringly pathetic employment").

Yesterday was an example of the heaven that summer break has provided Master and i. After a morning of puttering about outside, including Master working on the basic auto care for His car, we returned inside to enjoy slushed gatorade and watch a movie. As we watched a movie that we wanted to see, our lovely, rambunctious munchkin did something unexpected. He cozied in for an early afternoon nap. Master and i fled upstairs, hurriedly and huskily discussing what we wanted to do. Just sex? Something more complicated? A full blown scene?

So Much Improved...

Well, there was no lack of whinging over the last few months, that schedule was horrific on a level that threatened sanity and health alike. But now we are both home, at the same time, together! And things have improved quite a bit.

Recently we put the cage up in a permanent home in a nook up stairs. Since then the girl has spent a couple of hours on a couple different days locked away securely. I have to say that having her locked up where I want her is almost better than having her at hand all day.

I also have to say that I have been greatly impressed with the increased interest that the girl has displayed in our kinky play. During our painful hiatus it seemed that the girl had little or no interest in being bound or in doing much at all. Though I was, and am, understanding of her reasoning what with the stress of classes and such. However this revived interest has taken me a bit by surprise and done so in the best ways.

And it was heavenly...

It had been a while since we last saw our dear friends Master Pravus and his lovely Red Vinyl Kitty, and the last time, two of us weren't feeling on top of things...But last weekend, we were all feeling great and excited to see each other again. 

Unfortunately, we got a bit sidetracked by an issue with Master's car and arrived at our hosts' home a little later than planned. Master and i felt a bit guilty, but were quite amused watching Master Pravus enjoy the thorn he found in the roses we brought them in honor of their May birthdays. (Ridiculous, i say -- a single thorn in a dozen roses? What on earth are they doing to the best part of those gorgeous flowers?) 

The Rapture Weekend Wrap Up...

What a weekend for a visit to our dear play partners Master Pravus and Red Vinyl Kitty. The predictions for the day were a sunny day, a low chance of rain, and the end of the world. What better way to spend our predicted last hours than engrossed in hedonistic, kinky fun?

I could think of nothing better. Besides, if Jesus were to come knocking, I'd be more than happy to let him have a turn at the girl with the whip. I hear he has a miraculous touch ;).

Comfortable in my skin...

Yay! The semester is over, and i am on my second full week free from everything placing demands upon my time. Well. Free from everything but Master. Despite getting off to a strange start to summer vacation, things are looking lovely. Master and i are more at home, relaxed and feeling far less stressed and short-tempered. We feel more connected. 

We did get off to a strange start, with a few odd trips that kept me from sinking immediately into my life as Master's property, well, that and we were all sick. 

But, our second week has shaped up loverly! 

Finally!

Well, it has been too long, again. I'm sorry for that, things got crazy during the last weeks. But we are finally free and clear of this semester! Thank the gods, it was almost too much to handle. We are no strangers to the opposing schedule, having done it several times in the past. But this time, with the addition of our child, it was murder on our dynamic. Things slipped through the cracks as if they were the grand canyon. Too many opportunities were missed, feelings were hurt on both sides.

New Toys and Eager Thoughts...

Some new toys arrived in the mail today. I am so happy! I love new toys, the new toy smell. Okay, maybe not the smell, but certainly the potential that they provide. Today we received the Viper Tongue whip/strap thingy and a Delrin Cane from Eden Fantasies. By all accounts on the Eden site, the Delrin cane is for serious players and I can hardly wait to unleash it all over my girl's ass.

Has she been particularly bad? No, but then I don't need a reason to cover that sweet ass with welts, do I? Besides, I get the feeling that what we both need is for her to have a good, long, hard cry; get all this stress from this passed semester out in one go. Start our summer break fresh. And yes, I'm concerned that the end of this semester will be the first chance I get to use it on her. Though, knowing that eager sadist that lives in my soul, it might well be tomorrow;)

Spring is in the Air...

So spring break is over, has been now for a week. I wanted to write about our experiences over that week, but in truth we are still trying to figure them out for ourselves.

Regardless, we are still around and we are still trying to get our desperate moments in when we can. The best news of all is that in about a month this will all be over and the girl will be home for the summer. Neither of us can wait. The promise of mostly uninterrupted time together and a lot of babysitting time for our siblings. It will be lovely.

Also we are getting ready to head down to our dear friends, Master Pravus and his Red Vinyl Kitty, this upcoming weekend, it will be a wonderful time.

So there it is, we are still here and still kicking. I'm looking forward to having lots to share with all of you when we get back from this weekend. Blessings to all...

Round Two

Or, Saturday Night

While this year is full of awesomeness, the schedule that Master and i have been living on, built by the things in our lives, has been extremely difficult. Master has borne the brunt of caring for the little person in our household, and because of school, i rarely get to spend time with either of my boys, and have the least amount of time to spend alone with Master (Whine and Whinge!). It's been very frustrating, for Master and for me.

i sometimes feel invisible (something that's been going around kinky blogs), though Master frequently acknowledges how difficult this year has been for both of us. i know He sees me, sees me struggle, and flounder and loose myself in all the things that need to be done. And worst of all, He cannot fix it, for there is rarely time for us to whisper our goodbyes and lust before we must go about life, and much less time to drop me into the pain, suffering and pleasure that is required to keep both of us level headed.

But this is my spring break. And my time again belongs wholly to Master. And it has been good. Friday night i consumed copious amounts of coffee to stay up for Him, and we had a rocking time (as you can read in His post). Last night required less coffee to find myself at His mercy, and it was an absolute delight. 

Slap Happy...

This schedule/parenting thing has gotten ridiculous! When its been weeks in between play times and just general sex, that is just too much. Thank the gods this week begins the slave's spring break.

Last night we started it off right, though I had to work till the wee hours of the morning, my girl ingested four or five cups of coffee in order to stay up long enough for us to have the chance. So, when I finally got home, exhausted, back sore, and ravenously horny, we sped through our nightly routine and rushed upstairs for some fun.

My intentions were simple, just fuck the hell out of the bitch! No ropes, no complicated tortures, just plain sex and fall asleep tangled together in each others juices. Yet the stress that kills me isn't just from the lack of sex, it is from the ever present sadistic desires that well up in me. Two weeks without sex is horrible, but two weeks without hearing my bitch scream from the pain I am forcing upon her, that is hell.

Libertating...

As many of you may have read or seen from our pictures on Fetlife, we recently got a Liberator Wedge/Ramp combination set. I have mentioned it in my previous blog entry, but I wanted to talk about our first experience with this awesome set.

Early in the afternoon on Friday the set was delivered. I was so eager for the arrival that I met the delivery man on the porch. It only took me a moment to cut open the box and remove the contents. However, I then had to wait until the girl got home before I could use them ;).

That evening, the heavens parted and a miracle occurred. Our darling child fell asleep moments before the girl walked in the door. As soon as she entered, it was a mad dash to get up stairs and naked. I brought my camera long, as well as a new bamboo cane, also mentioned previously. We placed the Liberator set on the bed and I had the girl get a feel for laying across it. I took advantage of her up turned ass as she lay there and began flicking the cane upon her cheeks. Sadly the girl's back was out of sorts and we were unable to use the cane to full effect, but the girl loved what we managed to do and I even got some lovely shots.

Playtime review . . . 2 weeks late!

Wow. Another weekend play-date with Master Pravus and Red Vinyl Kitty left me . . . speechless. Which is (admittedly, only partly) the reason that i am the last to recount the event . . . two weeks later . . . 

Master and i were really excited that our first play-date (or second meeting) with Master Pravus and the Red Vinyl Kitty went so well, it was really hard to wait for the second play-date. But we all survived, and we planned it out carefully. Master and Master Pravus were constantly plotting via IM, and while Kitty was filled in on most of the plans, i wasn't, despite the fact i also spent time chatting with Master Pravus and the Kitty. i don't really like surprises, but Master thinks they're good for me, so He keeps doing it. 

Misfire...

Most of the time we get it right. Hell most of the time we get it damn close to perfect. But sometimes we falter, sometimes we stumble and when those times occur, we don't get it even close. When we fumble, it all falls apart.

Tonight had so much going right for it. A short night at work, the child wearing down quickly, and a Master and his slave eager for the same thing, a chance to play. We received a new Liberator Wedge/Ramp set yesterday and it was begging to be used thoroughly. We also have a new bamboo cane that needs to be broken in on the girl's ass properly and both are up for review on the Eden Fantasies site.

We worked on the kid for nearly an hour to get him settled in, fighting sleep tooth and nail all the way. It is in no way adequate foreplay, having a child screaming in one's ear for half an hour. We earned our playtime. And when the little tyke finally closed his eyes, we were on our way. I grabbed the camera and the tripod, I pulled out the Liberator Ramp and the new cane and set up the play space, i.e. the bed. The girl came up shortly after, stripping and jumping into the bed as she sometimes does, without permission. I let that slide, besides I knew that the cane was hungry for her perfect ass and it would be accounted for.

March Q&A:

Oh, hey, oops!

It's March. That means it's Q & A time.

Ask us questions as comments attached to this post (or any other post we make in March), and we'll answer.

You can now post comments anonymously now, so take advantage of that! ;)

Whip it... Whip it Good...

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Beyond Words... Again...

So this past weekend we were ecstatic to have the chance to go back to our dear friends Master Pravus and his Red Vinyl Kitty. I packed our bags a day early, putting nearly half of our collection of toys and implements in the bags and filling them up to the brim. I knew that we wouldn't get a chance to use all of it, but I love options. There are not enough hours in the weekend to use all of what we have sadly, but that means that there is always something new for later.

We packed up the car and the kiddo Saturday and hit the road on schedule. The girl suffers from severe travel anxiety and long trips to visit friends and family usually make for a very long trip. However this time, the girl was placid and calm and eager to have fun, but not anxious. It was pleasant.

We dropped off our little monster with family and spent some time chatting and enjoying the day. The whole while there was this undercurrent of eager excitement, something we saw in the other during shared glances. Finally it was time to get going and we happily made our way to Master Pravus and RVK's place (I like that RVK). We recently got a new camera, a lovely Canon PowerShot SX130IS but sadly the 32g card we ordered separately did not arrive, so we had to make a quick stop over at the near by Radio Shack to pick up a suitable replacement for our absentee memory card. We picked up an 8g card for $20 on sale. It worked great (don't believe me? Just check out these beautiful snap shots).

Coming Soon...

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formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Masterofslavej

The Mushy is Going Around

(Look! Isn't my new icon image cute? Okay, i know some people think i have cute feet, but i think i have sexy lips. And the structure of my neck, i like as well...Plus my collar looks so pretty!)

On to the purpose of my post... Every day, i am grateful for my Master. For many, many reasons. He's my best friend. He's a sadistic bastard. He's romantic. He's talented in many ways. He's sweet. He can make me cry. He's often considerate. He's a complete jerk. He can make me laugh. He watches corny movies with me. He keeps me from watching things that aren't good for me. He's everything i need Him to be. And i lust after Him as much as i love Him.

Naked Plumber to the Rescue...

So, last night I noticed that our removable hand held shower head had a large crack in it at the base of the hose connection. This peeved me a little because this is the second identical shower head that we have had to replace for the same exact reason. Plastic does not make a good, long term coupler! Run enough hot water through and it gets brittle and cracks.

Now I know that "planned obsolescence" has become a staple of our economy, but having to buy a new item repeatedly gets old. So, to that end we went out to our local hardware outlet to look at quality, mid-range, METAL hand held shower heads. Being a small town, their selection was not staggering but sure beat the crap out of Wall-hell, I mean Cheap-mart, I mean... Well you get it.

Defenseless

For those who haven't noticed, i did regain Master's permission to be on the internet, though i have been swamped with homework, which has put off my explanation far longer than Master intended...

In regards to Master's "Dacryphilia Vs Drama..." -- i basically got too sucked into the distractions Master permits me and failed to abide by His dictation. i put my own entertainment above His orders. Bad, bad, bad!

Now Reviewing for BabeLand.com!

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Dacryphilia Vs Drama...

So tonight I wanted to talk a little about tears and drama. I love seeing tears, I love causing them. Whether it be from physical pain, emotional torment, or fuzzy love, I love tears. Today, jenpet got herself in some hot water, and as I have instructed her to write a post about it when she is allowed free time online again, I don't want to dwell on the specifics right now.

Needless to say she is being punished, and that punishment let loose a lot of tears tonight. No, I didn't cane her bottom... yet. It came from the look on my face as I expressed my disappointment. It came from the nearly two hours she spent alone in the cage thinking about what she did. And it came from the fact that several of her privileges were withheld till further notice. However it also came with some drama and that I do not like.

Beyond Words...

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It's all fuzzy...

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Hopeful despair...

Since the last time i wrote, Master and i have had the opportunities to spend some quality time playing, despite the franticness that comes with my return to school each semester.

While i didn't cope well with the scene on January 11th, and have been struggling, i am still (forever) Master's property, and feel like his property. The struggle has been primarily in what feels good for both my brain and my body, and the feeling of disconnect that remains between the two. Though i know Master's first impulse is to crush me beneath His boot with force when this dichotomy appears, i am grateful that He has crushed me beneath His boot with some gentleness.

On Sunday, the house was stunningly quiet, and Master and i knew we needed to take the opportunity (as my classes resumed the following day) and we did so. Out came rope and the hood - but it wasn't just any rope, like the nice soft nylon, no, it was the sisal rope. i do love the sisal because it doesn't tend to slide and pinch, but i hate the sisal because the reason it doesn't slide and pinch is because it digs into you, stabbing you with a thousand little slivers. i cannot help but feel utterly helpless in that stuff, even if my hands are free - in a sense it reminds me of an electric fence - there is nothing you can do to get around it.

As i lay there, Master retrieved something that we hadn't talked about before hand, one of His favorite and rare indulgences . . . a plastic bag (shudder). Some aspects of breath play i adore - but this is not one of them (though i trust Him), this one, all i can do is endure*. And i despaired. i have given myself so completely, that those cruelties He springs upon me change nothing. i am His to do with as He pleases. Following the removal of the bag, still gasping for air inside the leather hood, still wrapped in sisal rope, He fucked me, used me, and finished with His property.

Under a warm shower after He released me, the despair passed, as it always does, life resumes . . . and i am reminded that i am owned.

* i wish i didn't have to emphasize this, but breath play is dangerous. Master and i are experienced players, are well aware of the risks and have done our best to minimize those risks while still choosing to indulge our fantasies.

Complexities

i am far from perfect. But, even knowing that, i know that my Master loves me, even though it's not something "required" of our relationship.

Every now and then, what i see as my imperfections cause this cycle of self-depreciation. Tonight, for example - Master and i had the opportunity for a chance to play. i was strapped down, and while Master thumped implement after implement onto the bed, i had no clue what He had planned. When He started it felt like His goal was to wear my skin off through various beatings...from the thud of leather clad hands, to the obnoxious sting of a kite stick turned mini-cane or the sting of His bare hands, i squirmed and tried in vain to escape.

One of the strangest things about being me is my brain and my body are not always in agreement about what is pleasure, pain or any intermingling of the two. Master laughs at me and often ignores my brain while following the cues that my body gives Him. Meanwhile, i'm often frustrated because even though i know i've liked the sensation in the past, i'm not enjoying it in the moment, or even able to find head-space where i can at least cope with it. Tonight was one such evening. While my body was busy experiencing pleasure, my brain jumped from each impact, lurched into a myriad of emotions. When Master was satisfied with the shade of red covering His property from tits to thighs, He turned me over and began again.

And again, my brain and body didn't agree. Even though Master, throughout, had been reinforcing His satisfaction with how well i was doing by telling me i was His good girl, i didn't feel like it at that point. In fact, i was feeling horrible because every four or five impacts on my ass i had one singular thought . . . "i want to punch Him in the eye." During the percussion strikes upon my body when i wasn't concerned with getting my hand loose to punch my Owner, i alternated between guilt at thinking about attempting to hurt my Master, struggling to cope with the beating and searching for the endorphin high to fall into sync with my body's desires...

And i couldn't. i cried from the pain, but didn't achieve a cathartic release.

Master fucked me afterwards, even though i had confessed my horrible thoughts - and it was during the sex that at least a few of those lovely stress reducing tears fell from my eyes...

And i didn't punch Him in the eye at the end of it all. Instead, i'm circling this mess of emotion, wondering why i cannot keep my heart, body and mind all of one mind (snort) about what i signed up for when i accepted a life without choice.

With a sore bum.

Anal Plans Updated...

Well, this whole anal training thing did not go according to plan. Surprise, surprise right? They say that no plan ever survives contact with the enemy, and the plug is the apparent nemesis of my girl's asshole.

We've been stalled by the holidays, colds, back issues, and more. Still, patience is a must when working on any training. To that end, I've decided to just extend the timeline through this next school semester. My original hope was to fuck her in the ass by the time she had to go back, but at this point we haven't graduated up in plug size or had the planned enema. So, we'll just have to keep at it when we can find moments. This of course means that the girl will have to deal with wearing the plug through normal day activity, chores and the like, which would be a good thing in general.

I'm thinking of using the inflatable enema plug as an intermediary step between the two plugs. The inflatable aspect would allow me to stretch her inner colon incrementally over a short period. Regardless, we're still working on it and the ultimate goal is still anal sex. We're just going to go about it slower without a structured timetable. Also, I think that it would benefit her appreciation for the whole experience if I were to attack her clit with a vibe each time, forcing her to have at least one orgasm during the plugging.

Stay tuned :)...

Top 10...

So here we are, the new year, 2011. We have a new look on our blog here, something that the girl suddenly felt needed to be done. I like the look of it, different for sure.

We're all ready nine days in and we've only had two opportunities for play. Not bad odds given the time I suppose 2 out of 9, but somehow I'm hoping for more from the this year.

Our first opportunity came just the other day and I had this inclination for breast torture. Sadly a full camera memory prevented me from getting any pictures, but here is a brief recap.

I bound her on the bed with her hands cuffed out wide to the side. I used the short bamboo sticks to bind her tits in a breast vice. Using our old stockpile of martial arts belts, I clamped the two sticks down tightly on her tits and bound the belts around her back and around the front one more time. This caused a rather nice clamp on her tits, but pressed the sticks a little too tightly against her breast bone, which got plenty of whining.

2011

Wow. New year, another year older, and still plunking along.

i'm on the mend, the last of the cold finally lifting, my shoulder/back pain beginning to let up, and hopefully, Master and i can squeeze in some serious fun before school starts again in 11 days.

A lot of things that we were hoping to accomplish while i was on break just didn't happen. It's been kind of aggravating in that regard. While Master noted that i mentioned an interest in getting back to the anal training, and supposed it was just so that i could get Him to drop it entirely, that isn't actually the case. While i'm not enjoying it, nor particularly thrilled about it, it's something that He has asked (told) me to do...so i'm doing my best to give it a fair try, to not whinge about it, and otherwise comply with my Master's orders.

And while nothing fun has happened since last year (whine) i'm riding that horrible edge of need, and thinking of all the lovely cruel things Master is capable of, and knowing that if we get a few hours to ourselves, He will do them and i will wonder why i wanted Him to do those horrible things while He's doing them. Afterwards, i'll know why. But during, not so much. i've been fantasizing about electrical play, canes, paddles, playing cards and clothespins, rope, leather, chains and the inability to answer the infernal questions He asks after He's gagged me...

(sigh) Maybe soon.

i'm sure you'll notice the changes to the blog's design - i like playing with layouts, and was looking forward to a change, and with the new year, it seemed a great time to change it. Now, if Master doesn't like it, well...you might see a few more changes.